


Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.

by fleurjaune



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Ships It, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Feelings Realization, Jealousy, Male-Female Friendship, Mentioned Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Minor Emilie Agreste/Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Nooroo Needs a Hug (Miraculous Ladybug), Temporarily Unrequited Love, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurjaune/pseuds/fleurjaune
Summary: Nathalie Sancoeur is overworked, secretly a supervillain, and probably dying fairly soon. A relationship with anyone, especially someone not in the know about any of that outside the first, is definitely not on the cards. Especially when she's basically living in the Agreste mansion these days.Somehow none of this is obvious to Gabriel Agreste when she accidentally starts up an acquaintance that could end up being a friendship with another man.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Nathalie Sancoeur, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur, Nathalie Sancoeur & Original Character(s)
Comments: 177
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [carola_tavs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carola_tavs/gifts).



> So this isn't _quite_ the Nathalie-dates-other-people fic carola_tavs has been giving me ideas for in the comments but it's definitely inspired by that prompt.

_Oh no,_ is the only thing that goes through Nathalie’s mind when she sees the table she’s been sat at. Most of the table isn’t the problem. Caline’s been, well, kind, she supposes in sitting Nathalie mainly with people she’s met before even if she wouldn’t particularly call any of them friends. Still they’re all amicable enough from what she remembers.

But it’s a table of couples Nathalie’s met before, and Nathalie, and a lone man she hasn’t.

And she’s willing to bet that he’s a single man.

She knows Caline means well and that she’s trying to be nice and help Nathalie out. From anyone else Nathalie might be suspicious of some ulterior motive but Caline isn’t like that.

In fact if Caline wasn’t such a social and warmhearted person then Nathalie wouldn’t _be_ here, because she can admit that their friendship, if you can call something so little that, only exists because Caline makes the effort. Left to Nathalie they probably would have lost touch years ago, since when she gets in mentally exhausted from work the last thing on her mind is to reach out for more interaction with people.

A shriek of laughter from table of teenagers nearby reminds her that there’s another reason that Nathalie might be here. Caline can hardly be unware of how reticent Gabriel is to let Adrien out on class trips, and those are _educational._ Nathalie’s presence here is a sop to that, and is admittedly probably the only reason Adrien was allowed to go to Caline’s daughter’s baptism with the rest of his classmates..

But that just makes it worse. It’s totally unprofessional for Caline to try to set Nathalie up with someone _in front of Adrien._

Especially with a tall blonde man wearing glasses.

She _really_ hopes that’s a coincidence and that she’s not that transparent because if she _is_ then she’d die of embarrassment if she wasn’t already dying from magic.

Admittedly it’s not like she actually does have a private life outside the Agrestes these days especially since she’s moved into their house for who knows how long, which is something she really needs to fix one day soon, but hypothetically if she did have one the whole _point_ would be that none of the Agrestes would have any idea about it.

There’s nothing to be done about it now though.

Nathalie pastes the same disinterested politeness she uses at work with Gabriel’s clients and business partners on her face and sits down.

He introduces himself as Vincent, and apparently he’s new to Paris, and that’s about all he says about himself. He’s rather stand-offish actually but that suits Nathalie just fine; this way she can even truthfully tell Caline that her attempt failing isn’t _Nathalie’s_ fault for once.

* * *

“I’m sorry,” Vincent says after the couple on his side leaves to go see the baby, “I’m being a bit of a prick aren’t I? It’s just I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I’ve got, let’s just say I’ve a lot going on.”

“Oh thank god,” Nathalie blurts out in relief.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, “You’re not either?”

“ _No,_ I’m not sure what Caline was thinking honestly, she _knows_ I’m not looking for that at the moment.”

“Well, I just came out of a break-up so bad I ran off to a different city so I think we can safely say that she _wasn’t_ really thinking about what either of us wanted apparently.”

She winces. She hadn’t meant him to feel he _had_ to confess something like that to justify her disinterest. _She_ certainly wasn’t planning to admit her situation. “Oh. Damn. I’m sorry.”

He shrugs, “It’s fine. I volunteered it didn’t I? So what’s your damage?”

She tries not to react, “My damage?”

“Why’s a women like yourself so uninterested in a relationship?”

She supposes at her age, when she should be settling down or be settled down if she’s ever going to be, it’s a fair question. One she going to need to make up an answer to.

If she was going to tell the truth then there would be a lot of possible answers.

_I’m Mayura. So that might put a bit of dampener on any relationship._

_I’m probably dying so starting anything right now seems pointless._

_I think I might be in love with my boss. And oh, I live in his house now._

But she’s not going to tell the truth. Or at least not the unvarnished truth.

“My job’s pretty exhausting, I don’t really have the time for anything.” She says.

“So is mine.” He commiserates and takes a gulp of his drink, “But you’ve got to have a life outside work. We’re not American.”

She reaches out to the bottle of wine in the centre of the table, and pours herself another glass in an attempt to distract herself from the awkwardness, “I’ve health issues as well. So it seems silly to attempt to start anything until that’s worked out.”

She tries to ignore how that makes his eyes look her up and down as if trying to work out what’s wrong with her. It’s not like he’ll be able to figure it out. She looks tired, and thin, and drawn despite her best effects with make-up but that’s hardly something you can make a diagnosis from even if her illness _wasn’t_ magical in nature.

He gives up, and asks, “Health issues? Like something chronic or?”

Think terminal, her mind unhelpfully supplies but then now it’s probably not going to be the Peacock Miraculous that actually kills her She demurs. “The doctors don’t know. So I should probably sort that out first.”

He doesn’t meet her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

She manages to offer a weak smile to attempt raise the mood from these doldrums, something she should be used to these days with Gabriel but it still takes effort, “We seem to be hitting each other’s weak spots don’t we?”

“It happens. Especially when we end up in situations like this.”

She raises her eyebrows, “What? The sorry singletons the hostess tries to set up?”

“Exactly.” He agrees and then looks at the bottle by her, “Are you on red or white?”

“White.” She’s gotten into the habit so no one can see the telltale signs on her lips, and so it’s safer should anything get split on any clothes. Gabriel’s paranoia’s influence she supposes.

“I’ll go get another then.”

She watches him go, and wonders if he’s fleeing or trying to be polite. He’s said he wasn’t looking for a relationship though so whatever he’s buying her drinks for it can’t be that, and it _is_ relaxing to be able to discount flirting as a reason.

* * *

“So, what do you do then?” He asks, “What’s the exhausting job?”

Nathalie braces herself for condescension, “Don’t laugh. I’m a personal assistant.”

“Laughing would make me a bit of a hypocrite,” her confusion must be obvious because he clarifies, “So am I.”

“Oh. I didn’t realise.” She admits embarrassed at her own assumptions when she ought to know better.

“People generally don’t. I don’t exactly fit the stereotype.”

She rolls her eyes in commiseration, “We’re not _all_ hired as eye-candy.”

Especially not when her boss is so in love with his wife he’s _literally_ terrorising Paris to get her back.

“Urgh,” he makes a face, and it almost makes her laugh, “I do try to tell people that, yes.”

More out of politeness than interest she asks, “So who are you working for now?”

“An executive at Orange. You know, the phone company. You?”

“Gabriel Agreste.”

Recognition flashes through his eyes, “The fashion designer?”

“That’s him.”

“The one with the missing wife?”

Nathalie suddenly feels very tired. She _should_ have seen this coming. It _is_ the other thing Gabriel’s famous for.

“Please don’t imply anything there. He _didn’t_ kill her. It’s so irritating, he and Emilie were in love, _really_ in love, and he’s been so wrecked by her disappearance-I can barely keep him functional and then people who don’t know anything say things like that and I want to slap them.”

“That was passionate.”

Nathalie eyes her glass, “I might be drunk.”

“No, I get it. It’s hard not to get emotionally enmeshed sometimes.”

“Yeah.” She sighs, and doesn’t trust herself to say anything more on the matter.

After all he has no idea just _how_ emotionally ensnared she’s got in this situation, and she’d rather that remained the case for a _lot_ of reasons.

* * *

Things are easier after that. Now they’re clarified neither of them are interested and they know where they stand it’s easy to enjoy getting to talk to another adult without it being about the whole mess that is the Agreste’s lives and to complain about the normal parts of their jobs.

It’s _nice_ to be able to complain about Gabriel for once, without worrying that he might hear, or that she’s disparaging the toll losing Emilie has taken on him, because Vincent too has plenty of ridiculous stories of things he’s employers have demanded of him so she can be confident this is just rich people nonsense and not Hawk Moth nonsense. 

She actually discovers she’s enjoying herself. She’s glad she accepted the invite and she _hadn’t_ expected that. At the time she’d only decided to go because she thought she owed it to Caline and Adrien to do so.

For the first time in forever she doesn’t even feel exhausted.

Adrien catches her eye at one point. He's looking at her oddly and she realises that seeing her like this must be strange for him. She's not actually sure she’s actually had a casual conversation with another adult in front of him before. Certainly not outside his family and kind as Emilie might have been their positions had always meant any conversation couldn’t be purely friendly, and as for Gabriel, well, he doesn’t _do_ casual.

She puts it out of her mind. There’s nothing much she can do now and besides it’s not as if she's actually doing anything particularly egregious. She's allowed to laugh with an attractive man where that’s _all_ that’s going to happen by mutual agreement.

* * *

“And then,” Vincent says, “You’ll never guess what he said.”

A tap on her shoulder startles her, and prevents her from responding.

“Adrien,” she says in surprise as she turns and sees the perpetrator, “Did you need something?”

“Sorry,” he looks apologetic, and nods at his phone, “Father wanted to say hello.”

“What?” she frowns, she can't fathom why he’d ring _Adrien_ to talk to her, but she holds her hand out for the phone anyway automatically.

Adrien passes it over, and she takes it, “Hello?”

“How’s Adrien?” Gabriel asks without sparing time for any greeting.

“Adrien’s fine,” her brain is far too slow for dealing with Gabriel’s idiosyncrasies right now, “I mean he's been very well behaved, you’re be proud of him.”

“Good. And you?”

“ _Me?”_

“Are you enjoying yourself? Adrien seems to think so.”

 _What._ “You asked Adrien how I was?”

“You don't have to make it sound so bizarre. It was a natural extension of checking in with him.”

“You rang Adrien to see how he was?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, no of course not, that’s great Gabriel,” she regrets the words even as she says them, she’s being utterly stupid, and she’s drank too much for this conversation, and she's probably screwed everything up in terms of convincing him to have a more active relationship with his son.

“Well it’s not like I’m hearing from you.”

No he hadn’t but she’d thought a report after the time would have been enough when he knew it’s not like she’d let Adrien get into trouble if she could help it. “No. Right. I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s fair. I didn’t ask you for updates.”

“I should have guessed.” She usually does when it comes to what Gabriel wants. Usually she _knows._ After all knowing things like that _is_ her job.

“Still.” There was a pause then, “ _Are_ you having a good time?”

Her brain stuttered at that question, “Yes, no, I think so.”

“That’s not a very clear answer.”

You have _an empathy based Miraculous_ you shouldn’t _need_ to ask, she thinks but all she says is, “I am actually.”

She wonders if that’s as much a surprise to him as it is to her. Then again Gabriel worries about her _physical_ health. She’s not sure he’s ever given a thought to her emotional health but that’s probably for the best. If he ever turns that Miraculous on her with too much attention all their carefully constructed necessary fictions would collapse.

That it’s unusual for him to think about how other people feel when there’s no direct advantage to him is clear in how awkward he sounds when he replies, “Right. That’s good then. What time should I expect you home?”

“Um.” She really does sound stupid tonight, “I’m not sure but calling the car won’t be an issue. You know that.”

“Yes. I understand. I’ll see you later then.”

“Yes, I suppose you will.”

She ends the call and passes the phone back to Adrien, “I think your father’s worried about when we’ll get home.”

Adrien looks innocent, “Do you think we need to go _now_ then?”

She considers the time, “Not quite yet I think.”

“Ok,” Adrien hesitates glancing between her and his friends, “I guess I’ll wait for you to let me know then?”

“Yes, of course.”

Adrien still doesn’t look certain but he heads back towards his friends, albeit with an odd lack of eagerness, which makes her worry there’s been a falling out or something.

“Awkward ex?” Vincent asks.

“What?” She looks at him in confusion.

“I, uh, you said you were single.”

“I _am._ ” Painfully so. And necessarily so which _should_ make the first seem better, and yet she can’t help but think that maybe with a partner of her own she’d never have got in this whole sorry situation.

His hesitation is clear, but he asks, “So, uh, the kid, he’s your former stepson, or basically anyway then?”

“What?” The only possible meaning of that question is ridiculous, “ _Adrien?”_

She stares at him. She supposes she should be flattered he doesn’t think she’s old enough to be Adrien’s mother, but on the other hand being thought _Adrien’s_ mother would be flattering in itself.

He looks back with her with knitted brows, “Yes?”

“Oh my god no. _No._ I mean Adrien’s a darling but _no,_ Adrien’s my boss’s son.”

Vincent’s eyes widen, “He’s the perfume ad kid. How on earth did I miss that?”

“He’s not exactly turning the charisma on at the moment.” Of course Adrien isn’t on the clock at the moment so it’s not like he has to but she _would_ have thought he’d be happier about getting to go out to a party with his classmates than he seems to be, and maybe she _should_ go and recover him if he doesn’t want to be here.

“No, no I’m don’t think he likes me.”

Nathalie looks at him in confusion, “Adrien likes everyone.”

Vincent laughs, “I’m fairly certain he doesn’t like _me._ I’m sorry to break it to you but I think _he’s_ viewing you as something more than his father’s assistant.”

“ _What?”_ That, _no,_ they were supposed to be getting his real mother back Adrien _couldn’t_ be thinking that, “You think Adrien thinks that his father and _I?_ ”

“Yes.”

She tries not to blush and give him completely the wrong idea, “But we’re _not_. We’ve never been anything like that.”

“Look, if it makes you feel better then I can’t tell you what he thinks is going on between you and his father, maybe you’re just a replacement mother figure without any of that but that was _definitely_ a child viewing me as an interloper.”

There was a ring of confidence there. “You sound like you’re used to that.”

“My ex had a son. I recognise the look he gave me. ”

“Ah.” Nathalie allows, and tries to calm down the heart beating frantically in panic in her chest. She _has_ to fix this with Adrien _and_ in a way Gabriel will never find out.

Only she can’t think of a way to fix it unless Gabriel _finally_ tells Adrien what they’re doing, but if he does and then Adrien disagrees with what they’re doing or _worse_ tries to tell Ladybug and Chat Noir who they are then she doesn’t know what Gabriel might do. She doesn’t know what she would do.

Caught in in her thoughts she barely catches her conversation partner’s quiet agreement but at it she forces herself to put the problem of Gabriel and Adrien aside for the night. She can think about it another time.

* * *

Thankfully Gabriel’s good practice for looking sympathetic and making appropriate comforting responses as Vincent slowly admits some of his tale of woe

“So I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I basically didn’t think this move through.”

“No I get that,” honestly she wished she had the bravery to relocate to Brussels or Geneva or somewhere and pull herself out of this whole mess.

“That’s something. But seriously let me know if you know anywhere needing a tenant. I _cannot_ stay with my cousin a moment longer or we’ll have a homicide on our hands.”

“Actually,” she _should not_ be saying this, “There’s my place.”

“What?”

He’s staring at her and, “No, I’m not suddenly going back on earlier and suggesting we move in together or anything. It’s just that with the health stuff and everything with him, I’m basically living in the Agreste mansion these days and I’m paying the rent on my apartment for no good reason while it sits empty. So if you wanted to take that off my hands I’d be delighted.”

He relaxes slightly, “Oh right. _Can_ you sublet it though?”

“Yeah it’s fine, though we should probably discuss this another time.” When they’re both sober. Especially since it still has all her stuff in. And she’s very aware that admitting where she’s living now can easily give someone the wrong impression.

“Good idea, next weekend? Or I'm free tomorrow.”

“Next weekend works.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel copes with events well.
> 
> also, trigger warning there's a mention of past domestic abuse in this chapter

Gabriel does _not_ watch Nathalie walk out the door to this date she has with this man she met at Adrien’s teacher’s child’s baptism last week.

That would be ridiculous.

Nathalie can do what she wants.

She's his assistant. He hasn’t any right to dictate her dating life.

But, she is at this point also his friend, so when Adrien does watch her leave and then transparently asks if he can meet up with a classmate outside who just happens to live close by the café Nathalie had mentioned she was going to he lets him providing he takes his bodyguard.

After all Nathalie’s still not well, and the reason she's not back to her usual self is all his fault. It's only fair he ensures that she doesn’t have that weakness taken advantage of and Adrien is _probably_ a slightly more subtle presence than he is.

Admittedly he’d probably be more of one if Gabriel hadn’t made him the face of his brand but it had been good business sense at the time and besides Adrien just is very good at it. And the success of the perfume campaign had proved that last point wasn’t just parental bias on his part. Besides Emilie had always liked the idea before they lost her, and then Adrien had seemed so eager to be involved afterwards.

Right now it's less helpful but at least if Nathalie notices _Adrien_ she might find his concern amusing. Gabriel’s aware that after the enforced bed-rest he's given her she’s reaching the end of her tether regards her indulgence of his protective instincts.

Still though. He doesn’t like the situation. Something about it makes him feel antsy like there’s some creature writhing within his stomach.

“Master?” Nooroo is as hesitant as Gabriel’s trained him to be but that he's talking now is proof that Gabriel’s emotions haven’t settled down, “Did you want to talk?”

He eyes the Kwami severely hoping to shut him up. “Talk?”

“Humans often seem to process their emotions that way. It might make you feel better.”

“And how _exactly_ do I feel?”

His Kwami seems to miss the warning in his voice. “I can sense a lot of things. Worry. Fear. Jealousy. Anger.”

“ _Jealousy?”_ Blood rushes though his ears as his anger builds, “I’m not _jealous,_ I’m just rationally concerned at what on earth Nathalie thinks she's doing.”

Nooroo floats back as far as he's allowed and curls in on himself.

It doesn't make him proud. It's necessary for his Kwami to know his place but he doesn’t particularly enjoy enforcing it. Bizarre that, when Nooroo _is_ the only member of the household Gabriel actually manages to consistently control.

Adrien. Nathalie. Even his son’s bodyguard. They all ignore him when they deem it necessary.

No one had ignored Emilie.

But Gabriel doesn’t have the touch his wife had.

Emilie could smile and make you think something was sensible and necessary even when it had seemed ridiculous moments earlier, and it had worked on Adrien as well as it worked on him. It had always been a rare enough occasion when Emilie had knocked on the door of the Atelier, or rolled over to talk to him in bed, and told him he needed to talk to their son about something he'd done wrong.

In his memory those rare occasions seem to have made up most of the time he spent one-on-one with his son when Emilie was with them but that _can’t_ be right. Still, though he wracks his brain because there _must_ have been more, he struggles to remember spending any other time with Adrien alone. There _must_ have been more but whenever he tries to work out _how_ he should interact with Adrien in Emilie’s absence that seems to be all he knows how to do.

And Adrien _does_ need more than that.

Gabriel himself perhaps would be fine with that, _had_ done fine with that, but Adrien is like his mother. He needs a softer touch.

He needs his mother.

Look at how he’d beamed at the idea of Nathalie moving in with them despite Gabriel stressing it was purely because of her health and that Adrien shouldn’t annoy her or suppose any of this meant anything.

Gabriel needs his wife.

He’s unbalanced without her. Lost. He’d lied to Adrien before. He'd never been a soloist.

His anger drains out of him as he realises, “I'm sorry Nooroo. You’re right, I _am_ jealous. It's hard to see Nathalie finding a partner when mine is still so out of reach.”

Unfair of him, but if wearing this Miraculous has shown him anything it’s that emotions are rarely rational. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to akumatise Mr Pigeon so easily whenever he got frustrated.

He should be happy for Nathalie. Especially with how much she’s been though for him but instead he feels like he's tasting the ashes of their friendship in his mouth.

He and Emilie had drifted away from other people, where it wasn’t necessary for work, once they had each other. Nathalie and this man will no doubt do the same. When you have the person your world revolves around everyone else seems unimportant.

Nathalie, he realises with a dull ache in his core, certainly wouldn’t be able to revolve around _him,_ the way she usually does, because what’s her employer to her _boyfriend_ or even husband?

Not that she’d ever let their work suffer. She's too professional for that. But _Hawk Moth._ That she might well no longer want to indulge and for all he’s worried about the toll it’s taken on her _and_ he's been thinking he should stop using Mayura completely, and maybe even use that brooch himself, the idea of losing her support is still difficult to bear.

“Miss Nathalie might not have found a partner. She said she was just going out for lunch to discuss some things.” Nooroo suggests.

Gabriel shakes his head. “It's Nathalie. She keeps her private life private. I've barely even heard of anyone she’s dated before, so it's no surprise she wouldn't explicitly say it’s a date. But if she’s decided this man is the one she wants then he’d have to be an idiot not to return her feelings.”

He can see it in his mind’s eye. Nathalie and a nebulous image of a man moving in together, Nathalie leaning down to where he’s slumped in a chair after a hard day at work and kissing him to raise his spirits, Nathalie getting married in a sleek ivory dress, Nathalie pregnant and handing in her notice.

Because Hawk Moth isn’t separate is he?

Not really.

If Nathalie really loves this man then she won’t want to chance involving him in all of that.

He tries to shake the waking nightmare aside. They could still get Emilie back. Maybe then Nathalie wouldn’t give up her job or maybe she’d just want to go down to part-time if she did have children and he’d only have to deal with a new untrained assistant for part of the week.

He tries to imagine that instead. Tries to imagine himself and Emilie at Nathalie’s hypothetical child’s christening. He even indulges himself and dares to imagine himself as the child’s godfather but the image blurs and he can't hold it in his mind, save for the one moment of Nathalie handing him her baby with a smile, and visualising _that_ feels like pressing on a bruise for reasons he doesn’t understand

Gabriel Agreste is a fabulous liar but today he's struggling to lie to himself. That happy ending seems out of reach.

Instead, “Do you think she’s no longer committed to my cause?” he asks Nooroo. “She can't be if she’s _dating_ now. Did I push her too far?”

“You told me not to spy on Miss Nathalie’s emotions.”

He had. He’d not wanted the temptation to akumatise her or Adrien but right now he doesn’t care. “I’m rescinding that rule.” Then he adds, “For the next five minutes.”

He doesn’t want to hear about, doesn’t want to _feel,_ the love budding in Nathalie’s breast for someone else as he’s left here alone.

Nooroo still flutters quicker than usual, “Miss Nathalie is as determined to help you as ever.”

“But that doesn’t make _sense._ Why would she let herself get distracted like this then? Why would she date when,” he trails off as a new image enters his head.

Nathalie collapsed in her imaged partner’s arms. The man still doesn’t have a face but somehow he glares at Gabriel in accusation anyway.

Perhaps the expression is what would be on his own face if he could blame someone else for Emilie’s death.

The horror and grief Nathalie’s putative boyfriend would feel is easy to imagine. Gabriel knows what it's like to lose the woman you love. As for the hatred, well he's felt that too. He _feels_ that too even if it's self-hatred in his case.

Which is what makes this confusing because he can't imagine _Nathalie_ wanting to put someone she's loves through that after what she’d seen happen to him.

“When she's still not well.” He finishes weakly instead of how he’d meant to end his sentence.

Nooroo hesitantly settles by his neck in what he assumes is supposed to be comfort. It’s a pale imitation of Nathalie’s efforts.

He tries force himself to relax in her absence. Of course Nathalie _isn’t_ going to die. That's not an option and her Miraculous is fixed. It’s _fine_ for her to use it. She’s going to be _fine._

But they’d came oh so close.

Maybe that's what scared Nathalie. She’d been alone save for him when she'd been at her lowest. Had looking death in the eyes given her regrets about her life? Had she felt unsupported? Is she chasing the affection she didn’t get because she can bear dying but not dying _alone_ and _unloved?_

Could _he_ have stopped this if he'd made it clear he _did_ value her, and did support her, and that she was his friend and not just his assistant?

If he hadn’t drawn back after he’d woken up in her bed the night before he’d gone to New York and suddenly realised in horror that though nothing had happened he’d been sharing a bed with a woman who wasn’t his wife.

It he hadn’t spent that weekend trying to atone for how he’d been prioritising Nathalie’s health over Emilie’s revival and pushed further at the boundaries of what he could justify doing than ever before.

If none of that had happened, would Nathalie still be looking for someone to care for her?

He could punch something.

This shouldn’t matter. If Nathalie doesn't want to be involved with Hawk Moth and wanted a life and a family of her own that should be a good thing. It would solve so many of his problems.

Except for the central one but then this whole mess their lives are in are because he has no better idea how to solve that than he did when he started on this quest.

Adrien might not take it well but Adrien needs to remember that Nathalie _isn’t_ his mother, and that nothing is going on between himself and Nathalie and this would fix all of that.

Although Gabriel _still_ has trepidation about Nathalie’s taste in men. The last time, years before he’d lost Emilie, that he’d ever been aware of Nathalie being in a relationship had been when she'd came in to work with a bruise on her face her make-up didn’t quite cover.

She'd brushed off his concern then, and he’d had to set Emilie on the case of ferreting out the situation. She’d done so masterfully, and had even helped give Nathalie the courage to leave, and though she'd been a bit thrown by Gabriel’s suggestion that Nathalie move in for a while so the creep couldn’t accost her at home or on the way to work she had acquiesced, and then she’d thrown herself into helping Nathalie find a new apartment and decorate it afterwards.

Gabriel had felt unsure that had been a good idea but both women had seemed so convinced it was the right thing to do that he hadn't felt able to change their minds and besides Nathalie _had_ been fine so he supposes they were right, even if he’s always thought things are far more convenient with her here in the house.

He grimaces at how that sounds, and tries to focus on something else and pulls out his drawing tablet.

But his mind keeps racing back to the idea of Nathalie being taken advantage of, of a man touching her, and plying her with wine, and pulling her in to kiss her.

Clothes. He thinks. He should draw _clothes._ That's safe.

And he tries he really does.

It's not that he's not productive. It's just that when he looks at the pictures he has to admit that while they’d be for the adult collections obviously they’re still _highly_ inappropriate for a brand that uses his teenage son to front a perfume campaign.

He’s _Gabriel Agreste_ not _Thierry Mugler._ If he sends _this_ down the catwalk people will think he’s having a mid-life crisis.

He looks over the sketch of a translucent red dress and decides Nathalie is never _ever_ seeing these sketches.

To the extent that it’s acceptable to think about what’s happening on her date at _all_ then he might be allowed to worry over what might happen to her, but certainly not to take prurient inspiration from it.

Looking through what he’s come up with he has to admit that most of this is going to have to be junked. There are a few which are possibly salvageable, that red dress might be acceptable if he had it lined, and perhaps it wouldn’t even be necessary to line all of it.

The doorbell startles him, and for a moment he does nothing expecting Nathalie to handle it before he remembers that the whole problem is that she’s _not here._

Forcing himself up he goes to let whoever it is in.

Adrien has a frown on his face, “I don’t like him.”

His heart makes a funny move in his chest, “Did something happen? Did he _do_ something?”

“No, I mean Nathalie looked happy,” Adrien says, “I guess I should be happy for her.”

His son looks like he’s chewing on something bitter. Gabriel can commiserate though he absentmindedly notes it’s not an attractive face on Adrien. Funny. He hadn’t been aware Adrien had those.

“I guess we should.”

Father and son’s eyes meet awkwardly aware that they’re actually on the same page for once.

“How far behind you is she?”

“Probably only like five minutes.” Adrien admits.

“Come on,” Gabriel says, and gestures for Adrien to follow him into the living room, “It’ll look better if she thinks we were both here all the time.”

He looks around for something he and Adrien can pretend to have done together though he doubts a boy Adrien’s age would be interested in a jigsaw puzzle or a board game, and he honestly has no idea where they even store any of those-he’d have to ask Nathalie and that defeats the purpose.

In the end he turns on the television, and finding France are playing a friendly against the Netherlands leaves it on, even though neither he nor Adrien are major football fans.

“Father?” Adrien says, “Are you _sure_ there’s nothing between you and Nathalie?”

“I _told you,”_ he can’t help but snap still feeling guilty over everything, “It’s not like that, I won’t betray your mother.”

“I know. You said that, it’s just that. Do you think Nathalie’s going to move out? Do you think she might leave us?”

Gabriel swallows, “It seems probable yes.”

“It just, I know it’s not the same but I don’t want to lose Nathalie too.”

“Neither do I Adrien but I can’t fake a relationship with Nathalie to keep her with us. That would be unfair to Nathalie _and_ to your mother.”

“I guess.”

Gabriel has concerns about Adrien’s own dating life if he thinks that was an acceptable plan. Possibly he needs to pay more attention to what’s going on there. He’d vaguely thought there was something with Tomoe’s daughter so he probably should make sure there’s not some weird fake-dating mess going on with his business partner’s daughter that could screw things up there. Or get Nathalie to because he has no idea how to even start trying to find that out.

“It’ll be alright,” he tries to reassure his son, “I doubt Nathalie would just completely disappear on us, even if she did leave her job she’d stay in contact. And we _will_ find your mother and get her back for you too.”

Adrien looks at him like Emilie had used to when she thought he was setting himself up for a fall, “You know I don’t blame you for her disappearance right? I’m not expecting you to somehow bring her back to us. I know we’re probably not going to see her again.”

It seems artic in the room suddenly. “What?”

“It’s been too long hasn’t it? If there was any chance of her coming back we’d have heard something before now wouldn’t we?”

Gabriel doesn’t know which of them he’s really talking to when he says, “You have to have hope.”

“I guess,” Adrien grips at his jeans, “When I was watching Nathalie she gave him a set of keys. What does _that_ mean?”

“She _what?_ ”

“She,”

“No I heard you,” Gabriel interrupts impatiently, but that doesn’t make sense because Nathalie’s more sense than to move in with someone she’s only just met, and beside that she’s living _here,_ “She probably needed him to do her favour with something,”

“But,”

At that point they both hear the front door open. _Nathalie_ of course unlike Adrien did have a key of her own.

Both Agrestes turn towards the television in silent agreement. Gabriel grabs the remote to increase the volume.

The noise of Nathalie’s heels against the floor is audible from the hall and he waits still as a statue for them to safely head up the stairs but instead they became louder, and then her voice comes from the door, “Adrien?”

They both turn around looking back over sofa.

“Oh,” Nathalie says, “Sir, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s fine,” his says, as he looks over her casual outfit of navy jeans, and a red boatneck Breton top, and tries not to let his eyes fixate on the just visible top of her clavicle. “Adrien and I were just talking.”

“I’ll just go then,” Nathalie says.

“No!” bursts out of his mouth before his brain can catch up, and Nathalie freezes.

 _That_ was embarrassing, and he stands up in an attempt to hide his mistake, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Of course sir.”

Once they’re both out in the hallway she asks, “What was it sir?”

“I just wanted to ask how your date went. Not in front of Adrien of course.”

“It wasn’t a date,” Nathalie says flatly, “Though talking of Adrien do you know it was the _strangest_ thing, I could have sworn I saw him at the ice cream stand on the other side of the street.”

“That’s impossible,” Gabriel lies, “Adrien was home with me the entire time.”

“That’s good then sir.”

He asks the vital question. “What do you mean it wasn’t a date?” 

“I mean what I said. I’m subletting my apartment. This was just to sort that out.” Then she stiffens, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply I’m planning on imposing on your hospitality forever, it’s just a short term thing, helping out a friend you know,”

He reaches out to her arm to stop her panicked spiel, “You wouldn’t be imposing, we’re happy to have you for as long as you’ll let us. Stay forever if you want.”

“Right,” Nathalie says, “That’s good to know. Thank you.”

They stand there in an awkward silence until Nathalie says, “You should get back to Adrien.”

“Yes of course. Adrien.”


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel is being odd.

She realises that’s not exactly new given there’s probably less of their lives that could be called normal than the opposite, but the thing is he’s being odd by _his_ standards.

Which is a lot.

For a start he’s suddenly gone into reverse on the idea of her reappearing as Mayura and keeps ranting on about the idea of using the Peacock _with_ the Butterfly himself even though that makes no strategic sense.

In the meantime he’s now actually making a real effort to hide the Peacock Miraculous he’s taken off her because she can’t find it anywhere, and she can’t understand why he’d do that _now_ when it’s supposed to be fixed.

And then there’d been the fact that he’d spent an _entire day_ trying to akumatise people the Sunday after she’d given Vincent the key to her apartment. Thank goodness Adrien had been safely in his room in the whole time.

And _then_ he hasn’t tried to akumatise a single person since then.

 _And_ she keeps finding him and Adrien having whispered conversations. Which isn’t a _bad_ thing.

Nathalie would be delighted if she believed that Gabriel was starting to attempt to fix his relationship with Adrien by himself instead of constantly putting it off as something for Emilie to sort out.

But.

It’s still odd, and she wishes she knew what they were whispering about. She doesn’t like not knowing what’s going on between Adrien and Gabriel. She can’t plan how to handle them if she doesn’t know what they’re doing.

She’s about 80% sure it’s _not_ about Hawk Moth or Emilie because Adrien doesn’t seem distressed enough for that but that remaining percentage of doubt haunts her constantly.

And apart from anything he keeps staring at her. She’ll look up from her computer to find his eyes resting on her from across the Atelier.

She can’t work out what’s in his gaze when she does it. He seems embarrassed to be caught sometimes but that doesn’t particularly mean anything. At the moment she thinks it’s an equal split between him being worried by the slow state of her recovery given how oddly solicitous of her he’s been recently, and that he must have some plan that involved her which he isn’t sure she’s ready for yet.

That _would_ at least the lack of akumas too, if he’s trying to build up to something.

She just wishes he’d _tell_ her whatever idea he has. She’s sure they could come up with a better plan together than apart.

Her mobile goes and she smiles at the text from Vincent complete with eye roll emoji. Apparently his executive is meeting with an American who wants to see the best of French haute cuisine and expects a Michelin star restaurant but is also a Vegan.

She fires back a commiserating text, and when she looks up Gabriel’s looking at her again.

This time he doesn’t hide from her eyes, “All alright?”

“Actually,” she says, taking her chance where she can, “I just wanted to warn you that I’m taking Friday in a fortnight off. I’ve informed the company, they’ll make sure you have someone to cover me.”

He frowns. “It that necessary?”

“I wouldn’t have asked for it otherwise, sir.” She answers, hoping he won’t dig any further, because the thing is it’s not actually _necessary._ Although she does have a number of holiday days she’s obliged to use up this year which she’s barely made a dent in, partially because Gabriel either doesn’t report or ensures her time off due to Mayura-related incapacity is put down as sick leave.

The thing is when she’d been out with Vincent and he’d suggested that the two of them could avoid situations like Caline’s attempted matchmaking by calling on the _other_ as their plus one for events Nathalie had been too embarrassed to admit that she rarely went out to anything not work-related, and had lied that it sounded like an interesting idea.

So when he’d phoned and asked if she’d like to go his cousin’s wedding with him she had to pause and think up an excuse as to why she couldn’t go, and she _had_ and then she just hadn’t said it.

She’s not really sure why.

Maybe it’s because she _is_ feeling less run-down and drained these days since her Miraculous was fixed, and she _had_ enjoyed going to Caline’s baby’s baptism _and_ the lunch she’d had with Vincent. Which is unusual for her but then she hadn’t realised just how little she seemed to talk to anyone who wasn’t Gabriel these days, except for work purposes, so perhaps that’s why.

Or there’s that it’s probably a good idea to be seen outside the house and with a man who _isn’t_ Gabriel if she wants to dispel rumours about him and her which she very very much wants to do.

Or the fact that strategically if she’s just going to disappear one day the way it seems more likely she might with every day they keep trying to get Emilie back and, every day Gabriel starts to care less about the rest of the world, then it will look better if she hasn’t already disappeared into the Agreste’s house.

It doesn’t matter why she agreed though. The fact is that she _did_ and now she’s too embarrassed to admit that’s why she’s taking a day off and giving Gabriel a day where he _can’t_ take advantage of any negative emotions as Hawk Moth because whatever temp covers her job for the day can’t be trusted on the matter the way she can.

Not that it’s that practical to hide it given that she both has to leave, _and_ has to come back to this very house, where Gabriel _is._ Though she could go out dressed like normal and get changed at her apartment she supposes.

* * *

Nathalie frowns at the outfits on her bed. She really should go shopping but it seems so pointless to buy anything these days when she struggles to see any sort of future for herself.

The red suit she wore to Caline’s could work for the wedding though it feels embarrassing to have it known that she works in the fashion industry and then have it look like she only has one semi-formal outfit.

There’s a knock at the door.

“Come in,” she calls.

“Nathalie,” Gabriel says startling her. She’d assumed it would be Adrien come to ask her for help with her homework. Gabriel usually tries to give her own space in the evening unless she’s really suffering the effects of her Miraculous. Whatever he was going to say appears to be forgotten as his gaze seems caught by the clothes on the bed. “Oh, are you busy?”

“Not particularly sir, did you need something?”

He hands go behind his back, and she wonders at the re-establishing of formality when he says, “We’re not on business time now Nathalie. You don’t have to defer to me.”

 _Oh Gabriel_ she thinks. She’d prefer just to know the issue and get it sorted out but she can see he won’t get down to the matter until he’s got the answer he’s now decided he wanted.

“I’m just trying to pick an outfit for an event I’m going to, but it’s not something I need to do immediately,” she explains.

He takes a step forward and looks over the clothes on the bed, “What sort of event? The red suit looked good on you, but it’s as much a matter of picking the right outfit for the event as much as the right outfit for you.”

She does she best not to get flustered at the compliment when it’s as much a compliment of the suit as it is of _her._ Though at least that makes it safe, and she doesn’t have to feel the guilt building for allowing something Emilie wouldn’t approve of.

 _“_ A wedding.” She admits.

“Ah,” he says, “When are you going?”

She freezes.

He must pick up on her panic through his Miraculous, “Oh I see. This is the mysterious Friday event. Well, I can’t pretend I’m not relieved. I _had_ been rather worried about whatever could be necessary for _you_ to take one day off work.”

She wishes she had her own Miraculous to tell _how_ cross he is but she can tell he’s not taking it well from the cloud that’s crossed his face, “Sir I,”

He stops her with a hand on her shoulder, “It’s fine Nathalie. I realise I’ve asked a lot of you recently. I can hardly expect you not to have a personal life on top of that. You don’t have to try and hide it from me.”

“Thank you sir. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hide it, I just. It seemed like a frivolous reason to leave you struggling in the office.”

Gabriel grimaces, “Whoever they send can _not_ be worse than that girl they sent the last time you went on holiday.”

Nathalie smirks, “Yes, I heard enough stories about that that I’m never taking two consecutive weeks off again. She somehow ruined your schedule for the week after too.”

“It was terrible. If you hadn’t decided to not take a fortnight off again yourself I’d have to ban you from doing it.”

“I think that would be illegal.” Nathalie points out.

“Nathalie.” He says deadpan. “I think that would be the least of our problems with the law.”

“There is that.” She admits.

“Anyway,” he lets go of his hold on her arm and takes a step closer, “Let me take a look.”

“Sir?”

“Are you distrusting my fashion sense?”

“No, of course not but,”

“Then let me give you an opinion.”

She turns to let him see, and he takes his place at her side, though thankfully all his attention _does_ seem to be on the clothes and not on her.

“Are there going to be people at this wedding you saw at the baptism?”

Nathalie tongue feels heavy in her mouth but she says, “There will be yes.”

Gabriel still doesn’t look up from the bed, but she could swear his frown deepens, “Apartment-man?”

“Most likely.” Nathalie prevaricates, because she can understand Gabriel being uncomfortable at anyone getting close to her with all the secrets they have to keep.

It makes _her_ feel uncomfortable and she’s the one doing it. She’s come very close to taking her phone out and texting Vincent and saying she can’t go because if she’s ever unmasked as Mayura then it’s bad enough that he’s renting her place. Unfair suspicion will definitely fall on him if people think that they’re actually friends.

Plus while Nathalie’s always been a private person and never had someone close enough to her that she hasn’t kept parts of her life secret from them she can’t help but feel this is worse because if he _knew_ she was Mayura he’d be running the other direction not sending her funny stories about his work.

Having been stupid enough to fall for a man who seemed understanding and turned out to be a monster herself in the past she doesn’t like that now she seems to be on the other side of the equation. Not that this is comparable. They’re not _in_ a relationship, and Nathalie knows what she’s doing is her own fault, and there’s no reason for Mayura to ever attack Vincent.

Still it makes her restless when she thinks about it.

“You can admit you have a boyfriend you know,” Gabriel says, “It would be a bit inequitable for me to expect you to hold back from finding love when you’re helping me get my wife back.”

She turns her head to look at him in disbelief, “He’s not my boyfriend sir. I’m hardly going to start dating someone in these circumstances.”

Gabriel’s stiffens at her reminder of the situation despite him being the one to bring in it up in the first place, and he doesn’t meet her eyes, “well, you can’t wear any of this.”

She doesn’t have a better response to that than, “Sir?”

“The suit _is_ the best of them but it’d harm my reputation for people to think you’re so lacking in outfits.”

“I don’t think anyone pays attention to what I wear.” She has to remind him.

“Nonsense. You represent the brand as much as I do these days. I’ll find you something in the archives.”

Sadly with the weight Nathalie’s lost from using the Peacock Miraculous she can’t even deny she’s not a sample size these days but, “You’ll need to remember I’m not a model sir.”

“You’re closer to one than most of the people that buy the clothes, but trust me Nathalie I think I’ve known you for enough years that I know your own style, and what you’ll feel comfortable in.”

“Yes. A suit.” Nathalie suggests in a pre-emptive defence. 

He actually looks slightly disappointed, “But you look so good in dresses when you wear them.”

 _That_ she doesn’t let herself get flattered by, because she recognises the familiar look on his face from when he’s forced to have to curtail his choice of his designs. The last time she’d seen it had been when some stylist for a starlet borrowing a dress had informed him that his client didn’t wear any animal products.

She’d had to listen for days after that about how the dress with the feathers would have been perfect and they didn’t even kill the birds _for_ the feathers anyway.

And on the subject of feathers, “I’m fairly certain you’ve only ever seen me in one dress.”

 _Mayura’s_ dress.

Which is very much not the vibe Nathalie wants for a wedding of a random person she doesn’t even know.

“And it’s a very striking one.” He says.

“I’m not exactly going for _striking._ ” She points out. The less people looking at her the better in her book.

“What _are_ you going for them?”

She thinks about it. “Appropriate.”

“Appropriate,” he says flatly, “Really Nathalie?”

“Yes.”

“Matching something to an occasion is one thing. You can’t use ‘appropriate’ as your base idea for an outfit. Emilie would have laughed me out of the room if that’s how I ever thought up anything for her.”

“I’m not Emilie,” Nathalie points out. She certainly isn’t both hot and famous enough for anything outlandish to be called high-fashion, or old-money rich enough for it to be called eccentric where Emilie was both. Nor is she the wife of a famous fashion designer and therefore practically obligated to play the muse.

“No.” Gabriel says, “I’m aware of that.”

She doesn’t ask back, _Are you?,_ despite the fact that sometimes when she’d been suffering much worse from the damaged Miraculous she’d thought at times that her and Emilie’s same situations had got some wires crossed in Gabriel’s brain and he’d forgotten exactly which one of them he was looking after and where the line of appropriateness lies.

But she’s fine now so there’s no reason that that should be an issue anymore.

“What did you come up here for anyway?” she asks instead.

“Adrien wanted to see if you wanted to watch a film with us.”

It’s a sad indictment of how things are in the Agreste house that that surprises her, but it doesn’t that, “And you’ve left him _waiting_ all this time?”

“Adrien would understand the importance of fashion. He _is_ my son.”

She manages to keep her irritation of her face, “Shall we head down sir?”

* * *

Adrien and Gabriel sit down with a space between them and it makes her sigh internally to see them leaving Emilie her missing space, but she doesn’t know why she’d expect otherwise.

They _really_ do need to get Emilie back as soon as possible.

She takes Adrien’s other side in some sort of attempt at support but now that _his father’s_ left that space between the two of them she feels like it’s inappropriate for _her_ to leave any less.

Adrien doesn’t quite manage to hide a disappointed glance and Vincent’s words about him using her as a sort of replacement mother figure come back to her. It _would_ explain why she’s even been invited here.

She has deeply mixed feelings about that. On the one hand she feels like she needs to pull back immediately because that’s Emilie’s place and it’s not hers to take. On the other she knows Adrien needs support because Gabriel’s barely managing to look after himself never mind Adrien and that _she’s_ done nowhere near enough to merit him thinking of her like that and it makes her feel guilty she hasn’t done more.

Maybe once the film has started and the lights are off Gabriel might not notice if she moves slightly closer to Adrien.

* * *

That plan falls apart, because for all Nathalie had been thinking about how much _less_ tired she’s been feeling recently, apparently that’s a lie because she barely remembers more than the start of it before she must have fallen asleep.

She wakes up in lying on her bed with Gabriel sat on the edge of it looking down at her and for a moment her brain struggles to make sense of it.

Her hand goes to her chest looking for her Miraculous.

Gabriel reaches out and stops her, “There wasn’t any attack Nathalie, you just fell asleep downstairs.”

“Oh.” That means he must have carried her up and _that_ means that Adrien must have seen and that is the utter opposite of what she needs him to see of his father and her.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No,” she shakes her head and pushes herself up to a sitting position, “That was probably for the best. I should get ready for bed properly.”

He still hovers awkwardly.

“Goodnight sir.” She prompts him.

“Goodnight Nathalie.”

* * *

It’s an entire normal workday, a _too_ normal workday if anything, when out of nowhere Gabriel says, “I don’t have your measurements.”

She doesn’t blink, used to his odd pronouncements but she can’t say she understands it, “Sir?”

“I don’t have your measurements on file.”

“Sir, I _will_ fit a sample size,” She’s surprised he can’t tell that. She’d never thought he had any issue with running a clinical eye over a woman for tailoring purposes but maybe he’s more sensitive about looking at other women in Emilie’s absence, “I be able to get in whatever you want pick out of the archives.”

Not necessarily _carry it off_ mind you _._ Just because she’s thin doesn’t mean she’s model-shaped, but unfortunately she’s only being lent something so it’s not like it’s going be tailored to her. Gabriel _should_ know that.

And apparently Gabriel _hasn’t_ forget that because he says, “Yes, but I can pick something better suited if I know what body is going to wear it.”

It’s a close echo of her own thoughts so she allows, “That’s fair sir. If you let me borrow a measuring tape, I can do it later and let you know.”

“I can do it,” Gabriel offers.

Thrown slightly off balance she asks, “ _Now?_ ”

“Yes.”

“Alright then,” she stands up and shrugs her jacket off onto the chair.

“Ah, you can leave your polo-neck on.” He calls over.

She looks at him lost, “I was planning to.”

He’s blushing in embarrassment. “Um, good. Right then.”

* * *

What _that_ was about Nathalie doesn’t know and thankfully he seems to get over it by the time he comes to her. Unfortunately now _she’s_ the one fighting a blush as he’s measuring her.

Which is _ridiculous_ because he’s being completely professional about it. In fact he’s touched her _far_ more than this in the past. He’s _carried her to bed,_ for goodness sake.

And yet there’s something very disconcerting about having his eyeline right _there_ in the centre of her chest. It’s nothing, and she knows it’s nothing but some stupid part of her is squirming under his attention.

“There,” he says and straightens back up, “that should be enough.”

“Good,” she agrees looking everywhere but at his face, “But sir?”

“Yes?”

“Remember. Nothing too outlandish.”

“No, no that would be a waste,” he shakes his head, “Don’t worry Nathalie you’re in safe hands with me.”


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel just can’t understand why Nathalie won’t admit her boyfriend is her boyfriend.

Nathalie’s a private person. He knows that. For the number of years she's worked for him _and_ given that she knows all his secrets he actually knows very little of her in return. It hasn't used to bother him. He knows he can trust her, she’s made _that_ indisputably clear, and that's the important thing.

It would be an ill reward for that service to pry into her private life, and yet now here he is doing just that and wishing he could do more. He only has a _name_ for the man because Adrien had wheedled it out of his teacher. Gabriel’s rather proud actually. He hadn’t known he had that in him.

Technically the fact the private investigators report in front of him doesn’t show anything particularly negative about the man, if nothing particularly impressive either, is a good thing. It’s good news for Nathalie. Yet he can't help but feel disappointed.

It's unfair to expect Nathalie not to have a life outside them but he can’t pretend he wouldn't have been happy if there had been some smoking gun to show her which would convince her to leave this man and everything could have gone back to normal.

That the man is only just out of a relationship _is_ a point of concern. Gabriel himself can't fathom how _anyone_ could move on that quickly. It can't be possible, and he hates to think of Nathalie being used as a rebound.

And yet that issue _is_ he supposes Nathalie’s own choice to decide how she wants to handle it. It’s certainly not the sort of issue he can justify having spied on her boyfriend to find out about when it’s something it's quite likely she might already know herself.

None of it makes any difference to the fact that Gabriel just wishes she'd tell him about her boyfriend.

They did, he thought, trust each other enough that it's fair to expect that instead of her denials on the matter when she so clearly is dating this man.

Because it's obvious. He keeps catching her smiling at her phone, and she seems less stressed, and she keeps going places with him. She went to a _wedding_ with him for goodness sake. She's going to his ( _her’s)_ for dinner tonight. _Dinner._ At _her apartment_ that _he’s living in._

A certain amount of reticence from her makes sense he can admit.

He hadn't been overjoyed at the prospect of it, and anyone’s involvement in her life will hinder her ability to be involved on the Hawk Moth side of things.

Nathalie has never liked disappointed him.

But there’s reticence and then there's outright lying and _that_ he doesn’t understand.

After all he thinks he's made it pretty clear that he's not going to stand in the way of her relationship.

He didn’t complain at her taking that day off for that wedding, and he’d lent her an outfit, and he’d even avoided the temptation to give her one that didn't suit her, and had given her one that had almost made him double take at her when he saw her in it she’d carried it off so well. If they weren’t dating _then,_ then the man must have asked her out after seeing her in that, even if he might not appreciate the value of putting Nathalie in purple the way Gabriel does.

And apart from that one big gesture he really has tried to be understanding about her relationship. He’s not _said_ anything negative about the situation, or commented when she says she's going out apart from to ask that she keeps him updated that she's still feeling ok, even though he’s wanted to suggest that she should stay in the house were she’s safe, and he’s there if anything happens to her.

So there's no reason for her _not_ to tell him.

And yet she doesn’t.

As he watches her talk to his son he realises that maybe it’s for _Adrien’s_ sake that she’s not admitted it. His son still hasn’t given up on the idea that maybe Nathalie will lose interest in that man and stay with them.

Gabriel’s half-heartedly gone along with Adrien’s attempts to ensure Nathalie can feel like this _is_ her home and not her workplace, and to show that she’s part of his family but he knows all their gestures mean very little in the scheme of things. A film night isn’t going to make Nathalie give up the opportunity to have a family of her own to be part of theirs.

He’s fairly certain Adrien blames him for not making Nathalie part of their family officially, for all his son hasn’t brought it up since the start of this mess, but unless he admits to Adrien the truth about Hawk Moth and his mother then Adrien will never understand why that’s such a ridiculous idea.

Though he supposes he _could_ point out to Adrien that Nathalie is very clearly not interested in him. Maybe that would stop the reproachful glares Adrien’s inherited from Emilie.

Still, Nathalie’s going to have to admit the truth to Adrien at some point. He realises that’s slightly hypocritical when he’s hiding Hawk Moth and the truth about his mother from his son but at least _that’s_ trying to protect Adrien in the present until he can give him his mother back. The endpoint of Nathalie’s secret is that one day she’s going to leave him.

And Adrien has got much more attached to Nathalie in Emilie’s absence than he’d realised. He watches as his son throws his arms around her and hugs her goodbye.

Nathalie stiffens at first but then relaxes and awkwardly hugs him back.

When Adrien let’s go of her she turns to Gabriel, “I’m off then sir, unless you need anything?”

 _I need you to stay,_ he doesn’t say, and instead checks, “And he’s going to meet you at the gate?”

He doesn’t like the idea of her walking that far by herself, when she’s still not fully recovered.

“Yes,” she rolls her eyes, “He agreed to meet me here.”

“I guess I can’t keep you then. Have a nice night.”

She hesitates, “You too. I think Adrien said the two of you were going to spend time together?”

He supposes he has to now. “That’s the plan,” it feels awkward as he says it.

“I’ll see you later then.” She says, and he can’t help but relax a little at the fact at least she’s planning to come home tonight.

This time he _does_ watch out the window as she meets the man with a smile and they walk off together. Gabriel doesn’t approve of how little the man seems to appreciate having Nathalie. If _he_ was in his place he’d have put an arm around her waist to support her, or _something_ at least.

Adrien frowns next to him.

“I don’t get why she likes him, or I mean I do but,” he trails off without finishing his sentence.

That catches Adrien’s interest, “Why does she like him?”

For some reason Adrien goes red. “Um. I’m not sure really.”

“ _Adrien._ ” He warns him, “Tell me the truth.”

Adrien mumbles something.

He exhales, “Tell me the truth and actually enunciate.”

“I guess he’s her type.” Adrien squeals.

“Her _type?_ How on earth would you have any idea what Nathalie’s type is? You’re never met anyone she’s dated.” He looks at his son again wondering if his connection to Nathalie is older than Gabriel thought, “ _Have_ you?”

“No,” Adrien holds his hands up in surrender, “It was a stupid idea. I’ve no way of knowing what sort of person Nathalie likes.”

“ _Him,_ apparently.” Gabriel has to point out despite himself.

Silence falls back between them.

“What were you thinking _was_ her type then?”

“Um. I don’t know. Tall I guess.”

Gabriel scowls, “He’s not that tall.” He’s fairly certain if he stood next to the man he’d have a good few centimetres on him.

“He’s pretty tall Father,” Adrien disagrees, “by most people’s standards anyway.”

 _I’m taller,_ Gabriel wants to say but instead he says, “by short people’s standards maybe. Anyway, weren’t you going to show me your new piece on the piano?”

“Oh right yeah,” Adrien says, “I think you’ll be happy with it now.”

* * *

His eyes catch on Adrien’s photo of his mother and somehow despite all the other images of her in the house this is the one that feels like a reprimand for getting distracted from his quest.

“I miss her too,” Adrien says quietly. “Actually, I didn’t want to upset you and bring it up but I was wondering if I could have another photo of her? I want to show one of my friends but I don’t want to risk that one.”

He can’t help but feel touched, “She’s your mother. I think we can find you another photo. I’ll get the photo album.”

He’s failing at getting Emilie back, and he can’t keep Nathalie here, but he _can_ do this for Adrien.

* * *

It doesn’t hurt as much as he expects looking at the pictures of Emilie. He even manages to offer Adrien a few anecdotes about what was going on in some of them and his son lights up at the information about his mother.

He almost finds himself enjoying it. He should have done this earlier, but that’s the issue, and why he needs Emilie because he’d never have thought to have done it.

Adrien looks away from the album to glance at his phone when it beeps and gives it exactly the same dopey smile Nathalie’s been given _her’s_ recently at texts from that man.

A terrifying thought suddenly hits him as he realises how much Adrien’s grown, “Adrien, _you’d_ tell me if you were dating someone right?”

“Yes.” Adrien answers immediately but it’s almost _too_ immediate. “Of course I would.”

He stares at Adrien in horror, “There’s something isn’t there?”

The temptation to inspect his son’s emotions as much as he can with his Miraculous wars with how much he just _does not want_ to know. He needs to either get Emilie back or pay Nathalie however much it will cost to get her to deal with it because he is so not prepared for this.

Adrien is looking shifty and not meeting his eyes.

“If you want to have _any_ chance of leaving this house to meet up with a girl,” Adrien looks panicked, “or boy?” Adrien doesn’t look any less panicked so he decides to continue with feminine pronouns, “You have to tell us Adrien so we can vet her, and work out how we’re going to handle it so it doesn’t affect your schoolwork or the brand.”

“That’s really not going to be an issue,” Adrien says, “I’m not going to have a girlfriend anytime soon.”

As he says it his son glances over at the Ladybug poster he’d put up to Gabriel’s disgust, though he knows Adrien doesn’t know the irony of hanging the girl who’s stopping him saving his mother up above his photo of his mother.

Embarrassment is emanating from Adrien through his Miraculous and somehow his day has just got worse because, _“Ladybug?_ You have a crush on _Ladybug?_ ”

“I did say I was unlikely to date her.”

His son can _not_ date his nemesis. He refuses. No. She’s the ruin of his plans he can’t have her coming into the house. What if she found Emilie? What if she saw Nooroo? What if she found where he’s hidden the Peacock brooch?

And to add insult to injury it’s not even like he could control her wardrobe when she went out with Adrien because she’s always going to be in that spotted suit.

“Good.” He says, “Because you’re not going to. I can’t approve of that. It’d be dangerous.”

Though, the thought _does_ occur to him that if Ladybug dated Adrien she might slip up and he might be able to discover her identity. Or if Ladybug fell in love with Adrien which she obviously would if they were dating then maybe he could reveal Emilie’s situation and she wouldn’t be able to resist the chance to save her boyfriend’s mother.

Suddenly a negative emotion calls to his Miraculous. A man thwarted romantically and still pining for his former girlfriend.

He stands up.

Adrien looks confused, “Father?”

“Go to bed Adrien.” He says. “It’s late.”

“Father?”

“I said go to bed.”

* * *

In the lair transformed he reaches out to transform his akuma. He thinks he’ll have to act quickly to get it in time, the emotions are coming from,

Oh.

Nathalie’s apartment.

He revokes his power from the butterfly and lets it fly free. Just a normal butterfly now that won’t bother anybody.

Not that Gabriel really cares about that. He cares about _Nathalie._ He needs to know she’s ok and that what happened before isn’t happening again.

* * *

By the time he gets to her balcony the situation seems safe. There's an undercurrent of sadness, regret, worry and annoyance coming through his Miraculous but nothing strong enough to merit Akumatisation, so really he should leave because Nathalie is evidently _fine._

That in fact is the problem because he watches as Nathalie sits upright and takes the man's face in her hands while saying something that looks important from the expression on her face. And something deep inside him wants to go in and shove the man off that couch because that’s supposed to be _him_ there, except, as he realises with some panic the issue is that he has no right to dictate who Nathalie can or cannot be friends with or what she can do with her friends. It's not like she's only allowed to comfort _him,_ or that it shouldn't be a good thing given her past if she can talk someone down from a state where they could be akumatised.

It's easy to forget with everything they've done together but he's only her employer. If anything her so-called _friend_ is probably the one with the right to be annoyed.

Gabriel certainly wouldn't have been happy if Emilie and one of her director’s had done everything together that he and Nathalie do.

 _Emilie,_ he realises in horror, probably would not be happy to know all of his relationship with Nathalie.

And this is probably the worst possible time to realise that because at that point Nathalie leans closer to her _definitely_ boyfriend and kisses him.

His grip on his cane tightens.

He should leave and yet he’s transfixed at the sight in front of him like he’s watching a car crash.

What he _wants_ is to go in pull Nathalie away from that man and into his arms, and take her home where she belongs, and, _and,_ he needs to go before he does something he’s going to regret.

* * *

He tears off his Miraculous as he gets back into lair because adept as he's become at tuning out anything but negative emotions he doesn’t want to chance feeling anything of what might be happening in Nathalie’s apartment.

Nathalie is gone from his grasp. She’ll leave. She’ll have to after this-she _can’t_ let someone else get pulled into the destructive orbit of Hawk Moth.

He should want her to. 

Because after what he saw tonight, after his own reaction he can no longer pretend it's just the loss of his confidante he’s been dreading.

“Could you tell?” he asks Nooroo, “Did you know I had feelings for Nathalie?”

They can't even be written off as base lust he can just ignore, because _that_ he would have noticed earlier. Could have acted to curtail. _Has_ ignored in those small flashes of it that have sparked over the last year.

No this is a much worse betrayal. He's allowed the wrong woman to occupy his heart.

“I had felt the affection between you master,” Nooroo admits.

His Kwami’s confirmation kills any chance he has of denying it.

“Why did you never _say_ anything?”

If he'd known he could have stopped all of this before it happened.

Nooroo is silent.

“I asked you _a question.”_ He snaps with some irritation.

“I didn’t think you'd believe me master,”

Gabriel looks upon Nooroo’s cowering form, and is struck that this is his own fault. Nooroo is the only person he successfully manages to completely control and _this_ is the outcome. A creature too scared to tell him what he needs to hear.

“You were right.” He says more softly, “I just don’t understand how this happened. _When_ this happened.”

“Don’t you?”

Nooroo’s voice is soft, barely audible, but it still cuts Gabriel to the quick.

He can’t pinpoint the exact moment his feelings moved from something acceptable to something he should never even have considered feeling but he can see the journey of it now in those hours alone in the lair together when her unwavering support had sometimes felt like the only thing keeping him going.

The start of it must have been in how Nathalie had been the only person he’d felt able to trust and then she’d never betrayed that and always supported him; taking _his_ mission and making it hers too. He couldn’t _not_ have valued her for that.

And then she’d gone further and risked her life all because of him and he’d have to have been completely heartless not to be affected by that.

He’d moved her into his house in an ironic attempt to ensure he could look after her, when he was the reason she was in this situation, and he’d somehow expected himself _not_ to get used to her being there, and essentially being the woman of the household.

She’s almost become his last link to his son for Christ’s sake.

It is, in retrospect, very easy to see how he’d become confused.

It would take a better man than him to not be affected by charms of an obliging attractive woman like Nathalie while essentially relying on her for almost everything he’d used to expect from his wife, but without the respect or romance that would entail.

And Nathalie _is_ attractive. He’s never been blind to that. He’s just never really _noticed_ it before. It’s just been a fact in the same way he appreciates the décor of the house until the last few months when he shamefully _has_ found his eyes drawn to her on occasion.

It’s understandable that he’s fallen for her.

Really, the surprise is that Nathalie was still single until now.

He shakes his head as if he can get rid of all this unwelcome self-knowledge.

“It doesn't matter.” He announces, as much to himself as to Nooroo. As is saying something out loud will make it true. “This doesn’t change anything. _Nathalie_ has found herself a boyfriend now, and I'm not going to betray my vows to Emilie. We’ll carry on as we are, and get my wife back, and Nathalie can marry her boyfriend and none of this is going to have mattered. What I feel doesn’t matter.”

The lair seems larger and emptier than ever in its silence and it feels like it's mocking him.

 _Nooroo’s_ silence certainly feels like scepticism.

And it’s not wrong because there is something wrongheaded in the idea. He can see that. Not least the constant temptation of Nathalie’s presence in that plan.

“No,” he commits, “Things _will_ change. I've been selfish involving Nathalie in my fight. In using her to fill Emilie’s space while trying to get Emilie back. She’s not going to be involved in any of this anymore. I won't allow it.”

“But sir, Miss Nathalie,”

He interrupts his Kwami, “ _No._ I’m not changing my mind on this Nooroo. I don't want to hear one peep out of you on this subject.”

There’s a rebellious look on his Kwami’s face.

“I mean it Nooroo.”

He’s not going to make Nathalie deal with _any_ of this. His transgressions are not her fault, and even if he wasn’t married, he’s _her boss,_ she’s living in his house and she has a boyfriend. Telling her would be making demands on her he has no right to make.

And if _any_ good is going to come out of this, if he can at least submit in defence that his feelings for her aren’t just some sordid betrayal, it’s that he knows he wants what’s best for her.

Hence Mayura is never going to make another appearance, and preferably Nathalie’s involvement will diminish to purely being, or _having been,_ his assistant.

Perhaps that too is a betrayal of Emilie but it’s a justifiable one this time. Nathalie had liked Emilie, had been grateful no doubt for the help Emilie had given her, but _he’s_ the one tied to Emilie by the promises he’s made not her.

Nathalie can leave, and escape this.

It’s for the best that Nathalie _does_ leave.

That way Nathalie can be happy, and healthy, and have a life. And Gabriel won’t do something he’ll regret. He’ll get Emilie back, and she’ll never have to know about any of this. Or he won’t but at least he’ll have done his best by both of them.

Adrien won’t be happy, but he’ll come up with some excuse for him. Figure something out for him. It will be _fine._

Gabriel can deal with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!


	5. Chapter 5

This isn’t working. Nathalie pulls away, and is thankful that when she does Vincent's face looks just as chagrined as she feels.

“That wasn’t,” she tries to find a polite way to say that there had been zero chemistry there, and she’d hadn’t had any interest in continuing because it just hadn’t felt like _anything_ other than the physical reality of it, which just…existed.

“No,” he agrees, and it’s can’t be anything but awkward, as he adds, “It’s not you, I _like_ you Nathalie, honestly I do and you’re a very attractive woman it’s just,”

“You’re not over Jennifer. I know.” It’s fine. She’s used to that, and it's not even like, “I don't even know why I did it, I don't even, I'm not interested.” She stops herself realising how bad that sounds to someone who can’t know the truth of why a relationship with _anyone_ isn’t an option right now and she can’t open off to anyone. “Sorry. That wasn’t meant to be a dig I mean on paper,”

“Yeah, I know. And that's what that was wasn’t it? Because the two of us, we make sense together don’t we? We’d make a good couple. Only, we’re,”

“Not attracted to each other?”

“I was going to say hung up on other people.”

It takes all of her years of accumulated practice not to let any reaction to that show but she still doesn’t have a response better than, “What?

Vincent rolls his eyes, “Seriously. You should go for it. _He’s_ clearly interested.”

“Who?”

He silently goes to the wine bottle and tops up both their glasses before saying, “Mr Emotionally-Dependent-Boss?”

She’s not proud of how her years of practised neutrality abandon her as she yelps, “ _Mr Agreste?”_

She is so stupid. She _knew_ she couldn’t just have a friend of her own she could talk to, and not involve in all the nonsense in the Agreste house.

“I wasn’t aware there was another one,” in the face of Nathalie’s non-response he shifts in the seat and continues, “Look, I know it would be an embarrassment to our entire profession but I’m giving you permission to throw the rest of us under the bus and go for it. Your whole situation seems weird enough anyway.”

She desperately scrabbles for ground, “There’s nothing between the two of us. I _told_ you that.”

“You literally live in his house.”

“Not like _that._ He,” she tries to explain it but it sounds so much worse out loud and without being able to reference Hawk Moth, “it was a better situation than staying here alone when my health situation looked more uncertain, and it’s just more convenient. There’s people around if I get dizzy, and I don’t have a commute and I’m there for Adrien in the evenings if he needs anything, and,”

He looks at her sceptically over the top of his wine glass. “And do you get paid for that?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re his PA not Glaring-Perfume-Ad-Kid’s nanny. Honestly either you need to get a rock out of him, or talk to your union.”

Nathalie sighs, she knows he’s right about the latter if not the former but she can’t help wanting to help them when they look so pitiful, and besides she owed the Agrestes in ways Vincent had no idea about. Besides she doesn’t think Gabriel _thinks_ he’s ordering her to look after Adrien when she’s off duty. He just forgets that she’s not meant to be there all the time.

Because she has to say _something,_ she answers, “And get the free accommodation taxed? Look, he’s just my boss. That’s all these is to it.”

Then she takes a sip of her own wine hoping it will calm her nerves and she can get through this conversation without embarrassing herself further.

“Right.”

His scepticism was clear, “What?”

“Look at everything that happened at my cousin’s wedding.”

Now she’s just confused. That had been the opposite of having anything to do with Gabriel. “What about it?”

“He gave you that jumpsuit.”

“ _Lent_ it to me. It was from the archives, it wasn’t tailored to me and then I gave it back.” She carefully ignores how Gabriel had called her over to put a stitch in part of it because it was better than pinning it and he wasn’t having her go out with it not fitting right. “That doesn’t mean _anything._ There’s hundreds of designs sitting there from being worn by catwalk models and never again.”

Vincent ignores her very sensible point, “And does he does this for _every_ employee?”

“No. but that’s different. I have to go out and represent the brand now even if it’s just holding the tablet or escorting Adrien. I’m,” and she _hated_ this, “A recognised asset now I guess.”

“So he just coincidentally picked an outfit that showed off your rack then?”

Her defences are in such tatters she blinks at that. “I’m sorry?”

He holds his hands out in defence, “Look, I’m a heterosexual man I was going to notice.”

“It was a _cowl neck,_ it wasn’t even that low. _”_ And she really doubts Gabriel gave a thought about her cleavage past the aesthetics of it in an outfit.

“Yeah but you were kind of,” he gestures outwards up his chest.

“Thanks,” she bites out, “Yes, he _did_ give me support garments but he’s a fashion designer and I’m wearing his brand, that’s not that odd. It’s like he designed the jumpsuit for me. It was from a previous season.”

“And were _they_ lent?”

She looks away from him so she doesn’t have to admit to his face, “Alright, look I got to keep them.”

“Look, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think you weren’t in to it.”

“I’m not.” She denies, and it’s _not_ a lie, because whatever confusing mess of feelings she might have about Gabriel she doesn’t want them and the complications they bring and he’s in love with his wife, and _she_ wants him to be and to get her back.

“I asked if you wanted to come over to dinner last week and you said you couldn’t because the Agreste’s needed you.”

“That’s my _job._ “ She points out. She’s _supposed_ to make his life easier.

“No. I do a fairly similar job to you, and in a comparable circumstance I sent you a message with a string of emoji’s laughing at my boss and then went home. _You_ went and I don’t even know, and stayed in with him all night because he was upset. That’s not your job.”

Maybe it’s not, but they _are_ friends of a sort, and besides Vincent’s somehow missing the most important point, “That doesn’t matter. Gabriel’s _married._ ”

“Shouldn’t it matter what you feel?”

“No. In the circumstances, _no.”_ It _doesn’t._ She’s made her peace with that. _“_ I don’t want to be the one who tears their home apart.”

He looks at her with pity in his eyes and she hates it. “Nat, it’s been too long. You _do_ understand she’s not just going to walk through that door alive?”

“That doesn’t matter. Emilie was good to me. I can’t just up and betray her now.”

“Just because she was nice to you doesn’t mean you have to martyr yourself for her for the rest of your life.”

The weight of her secrets lies heavy on her. She can understand why in the absence of truth Vincent would think that. “It’s not like that. She _is_ going to come back one day. I have to believe that. Gabriel has to believe that.”

“And what are _you_ going to do then?”

She shrugs. “Carry on as normal I suppose.

“For Christ’s sake, do you even remember how we got home after the wedding?”

“You called a cab.”

“Yeah, and?”

He’s looking at her as is any of this should mean anything to her.

“And what?”

“Well, for a start he _came over to the car, to get you_ when we got to his house, and then _you_ who had fallen asleep and had barely woken up at my prodding saw _him,_ and reached up to put your arms around his neck and shifted to make it easier for him to get an arm under your knees and bridal carry you. That’s not normal.”

 _Oh._ She doesn’t really remember that. But, “OK, look my brain was running on autopilot then. That didn’t mean anything.”

“Why would that even be something you’d do automatically? Does he just carry you around all the time?”

“I’ve been fainting. You _know_ that. What’s Gabriel supposed to do? Leave me on the floor?”

“Nathalie he gave me the smuggest look, once he had you in his arms.”

She strongly doubts that and even if he did, “ _So_?”

“He _wants_ you. I mean personally I think I’d start dating a woman _before_ I moved her into my house, but even if he’s emotionally backwards at least he’s rich. You’d get _something_ from it.”

That does offend her. “I’m not interested in his money.” She snaps.

“Oh, so you are interested then.”

She swallows, “That doesn’t matter. I realise it might look odd from your perspective, and honestly I can’t really explain the truth of the situation but Gabriel and I, we’re not like that. Maybe we’ve obliterated a mountain of boundaries we shouldn’t have in Emilie’s absence and _yes,_ the whole thing is an utter mess, but me and him. It’s never going to happen. _Never._ He’s still devoted to Emilie and he’s always going to be. And that’s _right,_ because she’s his _wife._ And I’m glad of that, I don’t _want_ to be some stereotype that messes around with a married man. “

There’s something in Vincent’s eyes she doesn’t like. “And what about a widowed one?”

“What?”

“Is that the only thing holding you back? If Emilie Agreste’s body turns up are you just going to throw yourself at him,” he grimaces, “I didn’t mean immediately, but,”

“ _No.”_ and besides Nathalie of all people knows, “That’s never going to happen.”

He huffs out a sound that could almost be a laugh. “You can’t know that.”

She finds herself moving away from him at the seat at her mind reels in horror at his response, “Oh my god. What are you _saying?_ Don’t even joke about that.”

“What? Wait. Nathalie, _seriously?”_ His brows press together, and he looks at her like she’s crazy, which admittedly is probably not unfair, _“_ I like you but I’m not going to murder your boss’ missing wife so you can marry him. Who would do that?”

“No one. No one would do that.” She really needs to spend more time around normal people, and remember that most people _wouldn’t_ go to the lengths she and Gabriel would for the people they care for. “Anyway you’re wrong. He’s not interested.”

Vincents seems to relax at her answer, and then gives her a sly look, “Does he go into your bedroom?”

“What?”

“I’m just saying if he does you should trade in those pyjamas you wear for something like a camisole and shorts, and see how he reacts and _then_ tell me he’s not interested.”

“Alright then,” time to get her shot in, “Maybe _I’ll_ try and show more skin around Gabriel if I can think of a way to do it that wouldn’t traumatise Adrien, who you seem to be forgetting in this whole situation where you’re trying to set me up with his father by the way, if you ring Jennifer.”

Now it’s finally _his_ turn to look awkward. “We broke up. I don’t need to ring her.”

“No,” Nathalie corrects him, “You ran away after you had an argument.”

“I moved for my career. I didn’t _run away._ ”

“You heard a friend of the guy you were staying with after you ran out was going off on maternity leave, and managed to get yourself a job as her maternity cover just so you had an excuse not to go back to your actual home. That’s running away, not career growth.”

Vincent scowls, “Her home.”

She reaches out to put her hand on his shoulder and looks him in the eye and does her best to sound stern, “You've a _joint mortgage._ Seriously you need to sort this out, you can’t organise other people’s lives and ignore your own.”

“ _You’re_ telling me that?”

Nathalie can recognise the hypocrisy but, “Do what I say, not what I do. Look how are you even managing to pay me rent if you’re paying that too?”

He shrugs her hand off, “I can’t just not pay you, that’d be taking advantage.”

“I can afford to pay the rent-I mean I was paying it when I was living here and I was actually paying for food and stuff then.” Honestly she’s getting dangerously used to having a chef cook her dinner, and with everything else she doesn’t even feel guilty about that. She deserves it. “And even if it _was_ an issue Mr Agreste would cover it for me. You don't have that.”

“See!” he points at her, “Not a normal work relationship.”

“It's not that weird. I've had access to his personal cards for years.” Besides Gabriel probably no longer has any idea what normal things cost these days. “And we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about _you._ You almost broke down just now talking about her, you need to sort things out.”

Nathalie’s Mayura. She can recognise someone being overwhelmed by their emotions ever without the brooch.

Vincent tries to smile, “Can we go back to you kissing me to distract me? I much preferred that.”

“I thought we mutually agreed that wasn't successful.”

“It worked to _distract_ me. And come on, it wasn't that bad.”

“Not it wasn't that bad.” Physically it had been fine. There just hadn’t been the right feelings underneath and without those she didn’t feel any desire to continue. “Seriously though, I’m not telling you to get back together with her,”

“Good. Because that's not happening. She's still hung up on the father of her child even though he's married to someone else, and I’m fed up waiting for her to sort that out.”

Understandable, “But you need to _talk_ to her, even if it's just to sort out getting your stuff back and the financial side. You need closure if you’re going to move on. You were together for years.”

He looks down at his glass instead of up at her, “I don’t know if I _want_ to move on.”

“You won't figure that out hiding away from her.” Nathalie points out in sympathy.

This time his smile is true but sad. “You’re suddenly very wise.”

“Maybe I just want _someone_ in this situation to get to have a not-screwed up life because goodness knows it's not going to be me.”

“Nat,” He sighs.

She waves off his concern. “It's fine. I know my situation.”

“Do you?” He says quietly.

She knows it better than she ever can. But he’s not her. He has a chance to sort things out for himself. “Talk to her. And talk to the kid. She'll have missed you.”

“I told you. Jeanne hates me. It's not like you and your wannabe future stepson.”

She wouldn’t call say that. Adrien’s sweet and he cares for her but she’s not much of a maternal figure to him and besides, “Don’t say that. Adrien’s another good reason nothing _can_ happen between me and his father.”

Vincent frowns. “I'm not following.”

“It's not like we could try dating and then introduce me to him at a later date, how could we keep it a secret from him?” True, they’re hidden Hawk Moth and they’re hidden the truth of what happened to her mother but if Nathalie was with Gabriel, if she could touch him and was free to love him, she doesn’t know how she’d ever manage to hide that. “No. Adrien would think his family was being put back together, and latch on immediately and we’d only disappoint him because neither Gabriel nor I are good at that sort of thing. And what happens if we broke up? What would that do to Adrien?”

“What do you think that current situation is doing to him? That kid must be so confused about how relationships even work.”

“Adrien generally takes after his mother, I'm sure he'll be fine in that department. Besides he has girls queuing up round the street to date him. It's probably a good thing if he doesn't realise he's interested in that yet.” Preferably not until Emilie gets home to deal with it, “He's only young.”

“He's not going to be young forever. Are you going to doom him to a sexual harassment suit when he's older because he has no idea what's a normal way to act with your assistant?”

That’s unfair. And insulting. To _both_ of them. “Mr Agreste has _never_ done anything like that. He never would. He's not like that. He loves his _wife._ ”

“Look, I’ll believe you when you say there’s nothing overtly like that but I think you have a very skewed view of what’s acceptable. You admitted he came into your bedroom earlier. That’s super weird, and most people would not be ok with it.”

“Because I was _ill._ And anyway, Adrien’s at school. He doesn’t even see most of it.”

“Aha, you admit there's an it.”

She wanted to scream, “Just forget it. It's not happening, I don't want it to happen, and _yes,_ I am aware it's a mess and that I should leave but I can’t. I can’t abandon them when they need me. Not yet.” Not until they had Emilie back, and then they wouldn't need her and she could just fade into nothingness and not have to deal with any of this. Or if somehow though she didn’t see _how,_ they all got through getting Emilie back unscathed then she’d get the satisfaction of seeing that reunion and then quietly give in her notice and get out of their lives, and maybe for the first time in years have an actual try at creating her own. “Maybe we _should_ try the kissing again. It’d be more productive than this conversation seems to be.”

“Hey, we’ll get there someday. Things will work out for the two of us.”

_For you maybe._ Nathalie didn’t answer out loud.

He put his glass down. “On a different topic, did you hear something on the balcony earlier?”

“No, did you?”

“I thought so.” He stood up and went to the window. “It's not the first time either.”

“What?” she stood up to follow him, “Is there a pipe loose up there or something? We’re on the fourth floor. It can't have been a person.”

“You’d think so wouldn't you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I've seen Chat Noir on the roof across the street a few times.”

Nathalie’s mouth goes dry and she tries to ignore the panicked dance her heart was doing, “Do you think he lives near here?”

She’s clutching at straws but she’s never noticed Chat Noir around, there’s no good explanation for him suddenly to be stalking out her apartment _now._ Unless he’s been there all this time and she’s just been oblivious and never noticed because she’s too exhausted to notice anything.

Vincent nods, “Maybe. I guess that makes more sense than him spying on _me.”_

“He might be spying on someone else?” She suggests weakly.

“What, you think the little old lady who lives next door is Mayura?”

_No. I know Mayura’s standing in front of you and I’ll never admit that because I’m a terrible friend._

Carefully she says, “It does seem unlikely.”

“I'm probably just paranoid anyway.” Vincent shrugs and heads back to the sofa, “He kind of reminds me of your boss’ kid, so I’m probably projecting that he doesn’t like me either.”

She can’t make sense of that at all. “Chat Noir reminds you of _Adrien?_ They’re nothing alike.”

“Uh, glaring blonde probably teenagers?”

“Adrien doesn’t glare,” honestly unless Ladybug was really in danger Chat Noir didn’t either. He had more of a joking personality, which, “And Adrien’s polite, and quiet and respectful. Chat Noir’s loud and makes jokes all the time and flirts with Ladybug. They’re nothing alike.”

But then, was _Gabriel_ that much like _Hawk Moth?_ If Adrien _did_ take after his father after all then. No. That couldn't be possible. She refused to think it. Adrien _couldn’t_ be Chat Noir. He _couldn’t._

Even if Adrien _was_ protective, and _had_ definitely followed them once.

No. She wasn’t thinking about it.

Unware of her inner turmoil Vincent laughs, “Maybe Chat Noir _also_ has parents that don’t act professionally with their colleagues and thinks that’s normal.”

Nathalie glares at him because that’s not _funny,_ even if he has no idea how not funny it is.

He smirks. “Oh. _Now_ I see where Adrien gets it from.”

“I'm going home,” she says, standing up.

“Nathalie?” he follows her up, “I’m sorry. I was joking. I didn't mean anything.”

“I know. But it's late and you’ve given me a lot to think about.” She went on tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight Vincent.”

* * *

Both Agreste men seem to be abed when she gets home from the lack of noise and light in the house. She can’t pretend she’s not glad. After everything that just got dug up she could _not_ deal with seeing either of them.

Her mind is just going round in circles as she gets ready for bed and she just knows sleep is going to hover out of her grasp.

In the end she tosses and turns trying to get comfortable that she gives up and goes downstairs to get a glass of water hoping that will settle her. It’s probably a good idea after all the wine she’s drank too.

A noise almost startles her out of her skin and she has to put her glass down before she drops it’s and she turns around to, “Gabriel,” she says in surprise, “I thought you were in bed.”

Clearly he wasn’t since he’s still dressed though he’s lost a few layers and is just in his shirt. She tries not to stare at the odd sight.

Though it seems quite a mutual shock from how he’s staring at her, and now stupid Vincent’s put stupid ideas in her head, it almost makes her squirm, but she just about manages to keep her composure.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming back tonight.” He says instead of answering her own implied question.

Something in the situation makes her brain work slowly and in confusion she asks, “Why wouldn’t I be? It’d be weird staying there in the circumstances.”

He seems to impossibly stiffen further, and she doesn’t understand what’s going on but _something_ is there under his skin making him awkward and it’s something more than his usual yearning for Emilie, or anger at their losses.

His glasses flash in the moonlight coming through the window as he looks down to look her directly in the eye, and she almost shivers as his stare into hers, as if they see past all her defences.

“I think it’d be natural to stay the night with your boyfriend.”

She sighs. This _again._ He’s fixated. “I’ve told you sir. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my friend.”

Gabriel scowls, “I wasn’t aware it was usual to go around kissing your friends.”

“I,” wait, “How did _you_ know I kissed him?”

He doesn’t meet her eyes, “It was a guess.”

It very clearly was not a guess, and a righteous anger builds in her chest as suddenly it all falls into place.

“Oh my god. You were spying on me, _you_ were the noise at the window, what the hell Gabriel? Do you not respect me at all? And going out as _Hawk Moth.”_ Image upon image of how things could have gone wrong with her unable to help come to mind. _“_ Rising your identity going out transformed like that? What were you _doing?_ Apparently Chat Noir’s been stalking out the area, what would he have thought if he’d caught you on my balcony? You could have got us exposed because,” she struggles for words, “What, you can’t deal with the idea of not controlling every part of my life?”

She’s given him so much of herself. She _deserves_ the barest modicum of privacy.

Of course _that’s_ not what Gabriel fixates on. Instead, “Chat Noir’s been hanging out at your apartment? Why didn’t you tell me? Do you think he knows?”

“I don’t know.” She shakes her head, “And I was _going_ to tell you when I saw you. I only found out myself today. And yes,” she answers him before he can ask, “Vincent _was_ the one to tell me.”

He flinches. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m capable of taking care of myself. You can’t wrap me in cotton wool, I’m allowed to have a life.”

“You are. I know that. I’ve been trying to tell myself that but,” he sighs, “I felt a negative emotion through my Miraculous. _His._ I could have akumatised him Nathalie, and once I realised who I was feeling I couldn’t, but I had to see you were alright, I couldn’t bear the idea of you getting hurt by some dick _again._ ”

“Oh,” that was almost sweet if misguided, and she felt a little bad, so she took a step closer to him and reached for his hand, “Thank you sir, but much as I appreciate you looking out for me, you do have to let me have some freedom to make my own mistakes.”

He lets their fingers entwine together and looks down at their joined hands, “Funny. Adrien said the same thing to me. About himself.”

“It’s good the two of you are talking more.”

“I guess.” His grip on her hand tightens, “I’m frightened.”

She tilts her head in question, “Frightened of what?”

“Adrien.”

She waited in silence for him to clarify.

“I know I can’t hold you back, you deserve to be able to go out and create your own family, but if we don’t get Emilie back before you leave then I have no idea how to handle Adrien alone.”

Nathalie tries to make sense of that, the end of it is no surprise to her but, “Why am I leaving?”

Now it’s his turn to look confused. “You have your boyfriend now. You’re not going to want to stay here, and I doubt you’d want to keep helping me with Emilie when you’d have to keep it a secret from him, and I assume the two of you will want to look into starting your own family, and,”

She reaches up with her other hand and puts a finger over his lips to stop his catatrophising this entire life he’s invented for her in his head. It’s highly unprofessional but then this whole situation is and it works immediately. She should have done this _ages_ ago.

“He’s not my boyfriend. And I’m not leaving you. I’m committed to helping you get her back. You know that.” She says it carefully so this time he doesn’t have a chance to invent some scenario that doesn’t exist.

She can only assume Gabriel didn’t stay after the start of that kiss and watch them pull away in disappointment. Which is something. She’d have been much angrier if he’d stayed and watched. Yet currently her anger is buried behind a kind of dry amusement that he saw her kiss a guy once, and apparently assumed she was days away from marriage or something.

It’s obvious Gabriel is trying to process her words from the thoughts. She can almost see his thoughts flickering through his eyes and yet she can’t understand them or what’s taking so long _at all._

His jawline is tense and he doesn’t seem reassured by her assurances at all.

Eventually he says, “He’s your friend.”

“Yes.” Nathalie confirms unsure where this is going.

“Your friend that you kiss.”

“Sometimes.” She dissembles. She’s not revealing what earlier was if she can avoid it,

His eyebrows raise slightly. “Do you kiss all your friends?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have that many.”

“I’m your friend.”

“Yes.”

She should have seen it coming but she’s still shocked when Gabriel leans down and presses his lips against hers, and she gasps in surprise accidentally granting him access between her parted lips and suddenly any gentleness is gone, as he presses against her, and it feels like he’s trying to devour her, trying to fuse the two of them together.

And Nathalie, Nathalie’s made a habit of giving Gabriel Agreste what she wants, and despite the last remnants of her sanity screaming at her, she doesn’t change that now.

Which of them decides this would be better with her sat on the countertop she’s not sure but it _is_ better, and she has better leverage and, his lips leave hers to trail down her jawline, and she wants him to keep going, but now her mouth is freed what comes out is, “What are we _doing?_ ”

Gabriel pulls away from where he’s kissing her neck, and suddenly looks uncertain. All the ferocity of earlier is lost as he stumbles over his words, “I, we, I don’t know.”

Nathalie feels a headache building behind her temple. “You’re _married._ ”

“I know.”

“You’re right,” her brain was suddenly flashing images of all their time together, and Vincent had been _right_ damn it, somehow she’s taken Gabriel from Emilie and she hadn’t even meant to, “I should leave. This can’t happen again. I can’t believe you’d _do_ that. To Emilie. To _me._ ”

She pushes herself off the countertop with her hands, and manages to keep her balance despite how unsteady her legs feel.

“Where are you going?”

“To get my stuff. I can’t stay here any longer. I’m moving out.”

Vincent will just have to deal with a roommate.

“Nathalie,”

She ignores him. “Not sure if I’m going to keep the job. Probably not. I hope that you won’t hold me to a notice period.”

He tries again. “Nathalie,”

“I will,” she bites her lip, “I’ll still be there as Mayura for you if I can. I meant what I said about being committed to helping you.”

“Nathalie. _Please._ You don’t have to do this, not like _this._ If you want to leave I won’t stop you but wait until the morning at least.

“I think I do Gabriel. I think I do.”

“What about Adrien?

She cringes at how this will hurt him and worse how they’ll ever explain it and curses herself for forgetting that Gabriel might be awkward when it comes to showing genuine emotion but he’s a master manipulator when he wants to be.

“That’s a low blow.” She spits out, “I'll work something out about Adrien. Maybe he could come over for lunch on Sundays, or you could hire me as his tutor for something or something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aiming for a Tuesday update for the next chapter-assuming I don't end up splitting it in two!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's two chapters ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> And not on Tuesday because my laptop hates the internet apparently.  
> And this one is...well you'll see.

“Master?” Nooroo’s voice pierces through the cloud of exhaustion and recrimination that surround him as he sits slumped over Nathalie’s desk.

“Not now Nooroo.” He mumbles. He’s exhausted. He collapsed into her chair after coming back in, after at least convincing Nathalie, to let him drive her and her things, and he’s barely slept since. He is aware on some level that he has a company to run and he should be letting them know if he’s not going to be available. Should let them know that _Nathalie’s_ not going to be available.

“Master?” Nooroo tries again, “Doesn’t Miss Nathalie usually make sure your son gets to school at this time?”

Gabriel groans and texts Adrien’s bodyguard to make sure Adrien’s out and to get him out of the house. He doesn’t think Adrien has anything on today but looking after that had always been _Nathalie’s_ role not his. He’ll look later and have something sorted out.

He can’t bear facing his son after last night.

He’d been so sure he knew what he was doing.

He’d had a _plan._

In truth maybe he should have known it was going to go wrong. That’s what happens to all his plans these days.

Mostly at Nathalie’s expense.

It had been supposed to go like this. He’d get up early and meet Nathalie on her way back in and congratulate her on her relationship.

And then they’d naturally segue to when she was planning to move out and he'd thank her earnestly for everything she’d done for him, and apologise for everything he’d put her through.

Then he’d tell her that she wasn't to be Mayura anymore.

She'd disagree with him because that's what Nathalie always does on that subject, but this time he wouldn't give in. This time he'd be resolute. This _time_ he’d refuse to take no for an answer. This time he’d put _her_ future ahead of his own.

And eventually she’d agree.

And she’d leave.

First his house. Then his company, and then-perhaps he’d liked to dream that it wouldn’t be his life. That he would be invited to her wedding, and he’d go despite how it would cut him to see someone else marrying her, and he’d see her life and her family unfold and know that for once in his life he’d made the right choice for someone else.

He hadn’t even done that for Emilie. Another husband, a _better_ husband would have saved her before it had become too late. Wouldn’t have fallen for another woman while her body waited below him for her revival.

Only Gabriel’s done worse than that because he hadn’t carried out a single step of his plan.

She’d been there when she shouldn’t have been, and he’d been struck by her in the moonlight, and then angry as she’d been she’d still reached out to comfort him, and she’d said the man she’d been with wasn’t her boyfriend, and somehow impossibility she hadn’t been lying and all the masks he’d prided himself on had fallen away.

The kiss plays over and over in his mind, with that one glorious moment where she’d seem to respond and she’d opened up to him, and melted into him, and tugged him back to the counter.

And then the moment he’d let her have her voice back she’d looked at him in disgust and pulled away from him, and he’d realised that not only is he a man who’s unfaithful to the wife depending on him to revive her, but he’s also apparently the sort to take advantage of subordinate who’s only ever supported him by forcing his attentions on her.

Never mind not being the sort of friend Nathalie kisses, apparently he’s not even her _friend._

Funny. All of Paris hates him already and he’s never cared. Now Nathalie hates him he can’t even convince himself to pull the phone over and call his company.

* * *

He doesn’t ring HR.

He gets very little done that day and only part of it is because he has to answer his own phone in Nathalie’s absence.

* * *

“Father?” Adrien’s uncertain voice comes through the doors to the Atelier at some point in the day.

“I’m busy” he calls back lying.

* * *

The next day he sleeps past his alarm. There seems very little reason to get up. He still has no better idea for reviving Emilie. He has no idea _at all_ of how to apologise to Nathalie. He has no idea at all what to say to Adrien.

Maybe he should sell the brand. It’s not like he has the creative spark he used to. Retire. Or take some reduced role anyway. At least then he wouldn’t have to pretend to be functional. He could leave Paris and bury himself in the middle of nowhere and never have to acknowledge anyone again.

Except there’s Adrien.

Part of him wishes he could send Adrien to boarding school or ask the Bourgeois to take him in for some sort of price and just run away from the problem of the son he’s failed but he’s betrayed Emilie enough already. He can’t do something he knows she would so despise.

There’s a knock on the door.

He ignores it.

But then it opens anyway.

Adrien’s nerves thrum through the Miraculous on his chest, even his usual resolution not to get tempted by Adrien’s emotions can’t stop him from feeling them, but when he looks up at his son’s face he can’t see anything but resolve. Admittedly he can’t actually see much without his glasses but Adrien’s posture seems upright and he isn’t fidgeting awkwardly.

Perhaps he should put Adrien forth for more film roles if he’s inherited Emilie’s talent.

“Father?” Now there is a slight waver to Adrien’s voice, “Are you ok?”

His eyes narrow automatically, because he thinks the answer to that is quite obvious.

Adrien swallows, “Father? Where’s Nathalie?”

Now Gabriel’s the one with a lump in his throat that feels like it’s going to force its way up. “Gone.”

“Gone?” Adrien suddenly sounds much younger, “Gone like mom?”

He’s almost overwhelmed by the wave of panic and loss but that very immersion in it makes him sit up. Makes him remember he’s not the only one suffering.

“No, not gone like your mother, why would you think that?”

“This is how you reacted when she disappeared. And Nathalie doesn’t seem to be anywhere in the house anymore. And those dizzy spells she had, the coughing, it all seems the same.”

“It’s not the same.” _Isn’t it?_ Part of him whispers, didn’t he fail Emilie and then fail Nathalie? but it’s _not_ because, “Nathalie’s alive. She’s fine. She’s just not here.”

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know.” He admits. “Her home I guess.”

“I don’t understand.”

He can’t give Adrien the truth of what happened. He scrambles for an explanation that to cover it up, but he’s just so _tired,_ “We agreed her workload was too much for her health; and given she wouldn’t be working for _me,_ it no longer seemed right for her to live with us, especially now she’s someone else to look after her.”

“What? Why wouldn’t she say goodbye?”

Gabriel procrastinates his answer, by reaching for his glasses and putting them on only to regret it when he sees Adrien’s anguished face.

“I’m sure she’ll come back and say goodbye to you.”

He’ll text her or something, and ask her to. He can promise to stay away while they meet or something. Whatever Nathalie feels for him she won’t take it out on Adrien. He’s sure of that.

“But,”

“Adrien. You’ve said on many occasions how much you value going to school. Many you should go there.”

Adrien continues to stand there looking at him and he almost looks about to say something but then he gives in and turns to leave.

He stops at the door, “Father, what you said earlier, you said this wasn’t like before, have you heard something about,”

That strikes somehow through his defences and when he speaks it’s softer this time, “Your mother? No. But it’s like you said before, it’s been a long time hasn’t it?”

“It has.” Adrien says and then he leaves Gabriel to stew in the mess he’s created.

He collapses back down into the bed but manages to reach for his phone this time. He has some calls to make in Nathalie’s absence.

* * *

“But Miss Sancoeur can’t just have _left,_ ” a frazzled woman from HR says, “her contract says,”

“Ignore her contract,” It’s _his_ company after all, “I’m letting her go now. In fact if anything we probably need to pay her off.”

There’s silence down the phone line and he realises his misstep.

“Ignore that, I’ll do that personally. This doesn’t have anything to do with the company.”

He releases that sounds worse when there’s more silence followed by, “Are we going to need to get a non-disclosure agreement drafted up sir?”

The implication enrages him until it hits him that it’s not actually wrong really, and goodness knows Nathalie knows secrets which are, well he wouldn’t call them _worse,_ but he’s aware they’d cause him more problems.

“I think we can rely on Nathalie’s discretion.” Much as she might hate him now he knows her better than to think he’d betray her.

* * *

He loses much of that morning to staring into space.

Then at staring at Emilie’s portrait.

Eventually it comes to him that he should look at his wife _himself_ but that idea is shattered by Adrien pushing open the doors to the Atelier, “You did something didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I was talking to the others at school and we agreed your explanation doesn’t make sense. It was something you did didn’t you?”

He reaches for the ice inside himself. It’s not that had to find, and then he turns those shards outward, “I thought we raised you better than to talk about our private business to strangers.”

Adrien pouts, “I haven’t been. I’ve been talking to my _friends._ ”

“Friends.” Gabriel snorts, “You’ll learn your lesson when the first of them sells you out to the newspapers.”

His son looks about to argue back but Gabriel doesn’t let him, “I’d suggest you _stop_ or this time I _will_ pull you out of school and as you’re not doubt aware there’s no Nathalie to naysay me on that this time.”

This time when Adrien turns and leaves it looks like he’s fleeing.

* * *

Gabriel worries Nathalie might refuse the money out of pride.

She doesn’t.

He’s glad. He’d provide for her the rest of his life if she’d let him.

She doesn’t come back to the house either.

Later he manages to discover she picked Adrien up for lunch once from school.

Gabriel hadn’t even noticed his son’s absence.

It’s a wake-up call of sorts.

He asks his new assistant to schedule him dinner with his son. She looks at him oddly, as she has a regrettable tendency _not_ to consider the evening part of his workday, but she does it anyway.

* * *

The new assistant helps too. She looks nothing like Nathalie with her bleached platinum crop, and dark brown eyes, and light brown skin. They both wear black, but the new women favours white and cream shirts. In contrast to Nathalie’s secrets she puts up a photo of her new wife on her desk. In contrast to Nathalie’s formality she has a professional but cheerful voice on the phone.

She hasn’t Nathalie’s work ethic, nor does she have her experience but she’s not _terrible_ unlike some people he’s had cover Nathalie when she’s out and she goes have a genuine passion for fashion which reminds him of the fact that he had cared about all of this once upon a time.

It makes him want to care again.

And at least having her there means he can’t forget what’s happened or slip into daydreams of better times, when he’s reminded of the truth every time he looks over at Nathalie’s desk to see she’s not there.

It also makes it harder to get away with not working.

He’d _liked_ being admired and he hates seeing it turn into disappointment in her eyes.

It also makes it harder to send out akumas.

He tries sometimes but there always seems to be a call, or she goes looking for him or something. He has suspicions she thinks he’s some sort of addict trying to sneak off for his latest hit.

Sometimes when he’s stood looking up at Emilie’s casket and everyday it feels less like he’s looking at his wife, and more like he’s looking at a body he thinks she might be right.

But he _made_ a promise to Emilie, and he’s already lost Nathalie to this. It _has_ to be worth it. So he still tries, if on a schedule more restricted to evenings or weekend.

He fears Adrien’s discovery of it. Especially with how his assistant isn’t there in the evenings the way Nathalie had been to distract his son.

She’d looked confused the first time Adrien had asked for help with her homework while she’d been packing up at the end of the day, and then she’d told him “to go ask his father.”

Gabriel had been too frozen in shock to gather his wits and refuse.

The next day she’d gone up to him and said that tutoring Adrien wasn’t part of her contract. It’s an oversight, and it _had_ been in Nathalie’s, a remnant of his homeschooling days but Gabriel isn’t ready to deal with _another_ new assistant so he lets it go.

Somehow luck is finally on his side though because Adrien miraculously never seems to even notice his absences. Never mind question them.

* * *

The first time he akumatises someone after Nathalie leaves is the first time he sees her again.

She rings the bell one afternoon and when he hears her name on the intercom he frantically gestures for his assistant to let her in and goes to meet her himself in the foyer.

“Mr Agreste,” Nathalie says formally, her eyes glance to the open door of the Atelier and the woman sitting there, “Can we talk in private?”

He gestures her into the sitting room and shuts the door after them, letting himself drink in her appearance.

She looks _good._ Healthy. The red streak is gone from her hair and he wonders at the absence. Mourns it almost.

“I said I’d be Mayura.”

He supposes that’s one thing about his new akumatisation schedule. It’s unlikely to interfere with whatever new job _Nathalie’s_ found in the same way it doesn’t for him.

Except. “You’re not going to be anymore. I’m quite capable of using both brooches myself.”

“What?” She doesn’t hold back, “That’s idiotic. You’d have your attention split between your akuma and your amok and even if you found some ways to combine the two together I can’t see how you’d end up with anything more powerful than what you have already.”

Gabriel steels himself. He’s not screwing this up this time. Even if it means hurting Nathalie in the short term. “You made it very clear you wanted space from me. I don’t believe being Mayura is conducive to that.”

“I don’t have to be in proximity to you to notice when there’s an attack going on and transform,” she holds out her hand, “Give me my Miraculous.”

That possessive tone reminds him of Emilie and that makes it very easy to say, “No.”

“ _No?”_

“I’m serious about this Nathalie. I don’t want you involved in this anymore. I shouldn’t have let you get involved in the first place.”

“I’m already involved,” She pulls her hand back in irritation but her face is begging him, “What? Am I supposed to stand there watching an attack happen, _knowing_ you could be in danger, _knowing_ the toll failure takes on you and just do nothing?”

“ _Yes._ Yes that’s exactly what you’re meant to do. This isn’t your fight anymore Nathalie.”

He hopes almost that that will make her stalk out in annoyance but instead she looks at him as if she’s never seem him before and says, “You’re trying to protect me.”

“My reasons don’t matter.”

“They do. Because if you are then you’re putting me ahead of your wife and that was the _whole point_ of me leaving. You were supposed to forget what happened between us.”

“Have you?”

She looks down at the floor, “Alright. I guess that’s hypocritical of me, but at least I’m doing the right thing here.” She looks back up, “Why aren’t you?”

“Because I’m allowed to care for you.” He snaps. To have all these thwarted desires of a life with her, _no,_ but she’s been by his side for years it’s not abnormal to not want to see her hurt.

“No, you’re _not._ I’m just your assistant. That not how any of this is supposed to work.”

“I seem to remember that you’re not my assistant anymore.”

Nathalie shoots him a wounded glance.

And he can’t help it, “But you are still my friend, and I can’t keep dragging you down with me. I almost got you killed. That’s not how any of this is supposed to work either.”

“That was _my_ choice. You didn’t make me.”

“And this is _mine._ You’re never picking up that brooch again.”

“Gabriel think about what you’re saying, you might be losing a chance to save her.”

 _Sometimes I don’t want to,_ he thinks but it’s a terrible thought and he doesn’t even really believe it himself.

“Your presence didn’t bring me victory either.” He points out instead, “ _I’m_ the one who made promises to Emilie not you. This is my cross to bear not yours.”

“You can’t just push me out like this,”

“You left. So I can. And, sometimes I don’t see a way out of this Nathalie, sometimes I think I’m just going to keep failing forever, but I can’t stop. But you can. And I want you to, I want one of us to happy, can you not at least give me that?”

She looks more like the Nathalie he remembers at that, and he almost thinks she’s going to reach out for a moment like she usually would when he’s feeling like this before she _doesn’t_ because of course she doesn’t anymore and she says, “I don’t think I can guarantee I’ll be happy, but I don’t think that’s your fault.”

“Try.”

“What?”

“Try and be happy for me. Have your own life, and your own family. Even if it’s with apartment-man.”

He’s proud of managing to say it, because he does want that for Nathalie but it _hurts_ to have to confirm that her family isn’t going to be _his_ family.

Nathalie rolls her eyes, “That’s rather unlikely since he’s still not my boyfriend, nor likely to be. But Gabriel?”

“Yes?”

“What about Adrien?”

“What _about_ Adrien?”

She sighs. “You can doom yourself to failure but what about Adrien? Weren’t you getting Emilie back for him too? And if you keep locking yourself up in the lair, or god forbid you get found out then won’t he have lost you too?”

“Adrien already thinks Emilie’s not coming back. He’s adjusted.” Better than Gabriel has, “Sometimes I think he doesn’t need her back.”

Why begs the question of _who_ exactly he’s bringing Emilie back for if it’s not for Adrien and if Gabriel’s no longer sure it would be for him.

That’s a stupid question.

Emilie deserves to live, no matter, what they do or don’t feel about that.

“And what about you?”

“Me?” He snorts, “Adrien and I have never been close. You know that. No I don’t think he’ll miss me.”

She tilts her head, “I’d thought things were going better between you two recently.”

“Not really.” Apparently the two of them can only bond over hating Nathalie’s pseudo-boyfriend. Maybe Gabriel should try and find someone else for them to dislike together. Unfortunately Ladybug is off the table for that. “How serious were you that time about offering to tutor him?”

“That’s not a solution to your relationship with him.”

“I know that. But he seems to have suddenly started struggling with getting his homework done.”

His gut instinct it to ground him but he’s not sure it’d work, and terrible thought though it is he feels less guilty when Adrien isn’t in the house with him to remind him of his resentment.

Nathalie frowns. “Why?”

“My new assistant seems to have strict boundaries when it comes to staying past office hours.”

“Oh,” Nathalie let’s out a single laugh, “Maybe I should have done that. It might have solved a few things.”

Seeing her more relaxed like this he thinks it would only have solved some of it.

Though her amusement is short as she starts thinking again, “I don’t understand _why_ he’d be having a problem though. I _helped_ him work out his homework but I never did it for him, and he’s clever enough and hard working. It shouldn’t be that much of an issue.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he misses you.”

Nathalie huffs. “Maybe he’s watching akuma attacks when he should be working.”

“You think?”

“It was just a thought. He’s probably got better self-control than that.”

“No, you’re got a point. He _might_ be. He’s a fondness for Ladybug.”

“You noticed that then?”

“He buys a lot of merchandise.”

“Ah.”

She grabs onto her bag strap and looks down at it, “There is _one_ other possibility.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid, and we dismissed it, and they’re not alike at all really but Vincent said Chat Noir reminds him of Adrien.”

“It’s not stupid.” He tries to ignore the mention of her friend and not get distracted by wondering if they’re living together of it. “I should reconsider it.”

He _should,_ and he’ll get to it at some point but rather than feeling any eagerness at a chance to get Chat Noir’s Miraculous he just feels tired.

“Talk to Adrien about the tutoring idea,” she says, “And you can text me to set something up.”

“Aren’t you too busy?”

“I’m bored out of my skull doing job applications, I can fit Adrien in.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s for the best, and it’s not like I don’t have enough to live on for now.”

“If you need anything,”

“You’ve given me enough. It’s fine.”

“I thought with the length of your service and,”

“I said its fine.” She snaps. Then she sighs, “I should be going anyway.”

And he watches her walk out of his life again.

* * *

He releases akumas alone. Sometimes amoks too. She was right. Wearing both brooches himself seems to yield little. Perhaps he just doesn’t have the mind for it.

* * *

-And, as it turns out it turns out that telling her she _can’t_ be Mayura for her safety was pointless because it turns out that she doesn’t _need_ to be Mayura to be endangered by an akuma attack.

There’s an irony in there, and maybe he’d laugh in hysteria, if everything in him wasn’t swallowed up by the anxiety curling up his throat as he spots Nathalie and Adrien too late in the path of the building his latest champion has just brought crashing to the ground.

His attempt to take control through his mental link fails, and he gives up because _what good would it do?_

His akuma gave powers to shake the ground, to _destroy,_ not to save.

His instincts yell at him to _take it back,_ to take back the akuma and strip those very powers but that won’t fix anything. _He_ can’t fix anything. The only one who can is the very girl he’s been fighting.

_Ladybug please._

He’s felt this before when Adrien was frozen in gold, but somehow this feels _worse,_ that had been _magic,_ like something out of a story. Adrien wasn’t _dead,_ he’d been turned into a statue and that had made it so easy to believe that it _could_ be fixed. By him, or by Ladybug, it didn’t matter.

This though. Crushed bones, and bleeding out there’s none of that sheen of unreality to this.

Ladybug and Chat Noir _always_ win.

It runs round in his head like a mantra as he runs to them.

* * *

Nathalie he finds first. Adrien is still nowhere to be seen.

Her eyes widen in panic on seeing him. Or perhaps he’s being egotistical and it’s just pain.

“You shouldn’t,” she gasps.

“Hush,” he reassures her, and she’s _right,_ he should de-transform because Hawk Moth caring for a victim of his attacks _will_ make the news. But Gabriel Agreste doesn’t have Hawk Moth’s strength and that’s what’s needed in a collapsed building.

Later, he’ll think that maybe he got have had Nooroo to transform him differently, and pretend to be some accomplice of the heroes but right now his thoughts are drowned in panic.

Lifting a piece of masonry off her pelvis they both watch at the stream of blood that is realised from under it, he in horror, and her in, it almost looks like resignation.

“I think you shouldn’t have done that,” she groans.

“I can’t move you without,”

She shakes her head, “I can’t feel my legs,”

It comes out as barely a whisper and he doesn’t know if she’s trying to be secretive, or if she just can’t force the words out any louder.

“Go find Adrien,”

“Nathalie,”

“He was with me one second, he _was,_ but then I couldn’t find him anywhere,”

He takes her hand, “It’s not your fault,” it’s _his._

She doesn’t react, and there’s no recognition in her eyes at all.

He doesn’t have it in him to disobey her so he goes.

But Adrien, _Adrien_ he can’t find anywhere even as he looks through the carnage he’s created. He doesn’t usually stand amongst the results of his akumas and the fear, pain, panic deluging his Miraculous would almost send him to his knees if he didn’t have a purpose.

There’s another shake outside and he worries that what’s still standing will tumble further.

He ends up back where he started, and he _dreads_ telling Nathalie he can’t find his son either, only it doesn’t matter because he tell can with one glance she’s gone.

It’s Emilie all over again.

Gravity bears down on him and he almost falls but there’s another tremor and Chat Noir the one to fall down from wherever he’d been perched, and some instinct makes him reach out and catch him.

There’s an awkward moment as they both stare seemingly as surprised as each other before Chat Noir leaps out of his arms and takes a fighting position.

The hero, he notes dully, looks almost as bad as Gabriel feels. He’s covered in dust making his suit more a dull grey than black and what he can see of his face is pale.

He glances over to Nathalie and his grip on his staff seems to tighten.

“It’s in the staff,” Hawk Moth tells the hero, and at the lack of comprehension in the look he receives he clarifies, “The akuma that is.”

Maybe it’s what he says, or maybe Chat Noir can hear how tired he feels, because the hero doesn’t attack.

“If I recall it I’m not sure your partner can still fix things,” Everything he’d read had been muddy on the subject and this isn’t a time for chance, “I’ll see if I can compel the akuma to make it easier.”

“How can I know this isn’t a trick?”

“I’ve lost someone,” and he lets himself glance around again as if he’ll somehow spot Adrien’s bright hair in the gloom, because that’s _safer_ than looking at Nathalie and getting her associated with him when the heroes win, and he _has_ to believe the heroes are going to win, “I don’t want it to stay that way.”

Chat Noir looks at him assessing, “Finally suffering some consequences are you?”

There’s something manic in his inhuman eyes.

“Yes.”

Those eyes gleam, “Alright. But if this _is_ a trick then I _will_ hurt you down after.”

“That’s fair.” He concedes with a slight nod.

Chat Noir looks at him oddly, but jumps away.

He finally collapses down next to Nathalie as he’d wanted to, and tries to reach out to his akuma.

* * *

A wave of pink light heralds Ladybug and Chat Noir’s victory, and all he feels is pure relief, like the first drop of water tasted after a hike through a desert.

Somehow he has the presence of mind to de-transform as the ladybugs do their work and when awareness comes back to Nathalie’s eyes, it’s Gabriel she sees.

She goes white and looks past him. “Where’s Adrien?”

He looks behind him, “I never found him. I thought,” he thought he’d been buried somewhere too deep to find, “I thought he’d come back _here._ ”

Their eyes meet in mutual dread, but Ladybug’s cure _has_ to have worked on him as much as everyone else. They _know_ that.

“I lost sight of him,” Nathalie worries at her lip, “Maybe he escaped.”

He hopes that’s the case. Hopes he didn’t kill _two_ people he loves today, even if it wasn’t permanent.

“Nathalie?” Adrien’s voice startles them both.

“Adrien?” He answer’s in relief, “You’re alright?”

“Father?” Adrien’s nose wrinkles in confusion, “How, why are you here?”

Gabriel doesn’t even have to lie. “I was looking for you two-I saw the attack, I was worried.”

“Oh, well I’m ok. Ladybug fixed everything. As usual.”

“As usual,” he agrees dully. He wonders hysterically if he should seem her a thank you present.

“Um,” Adrien says, “Are we going home now?”

“I guess we should.” Nathalie says walking over to him.

It takes Gabriel a moment to realise they’re waiting for him, and he follows them but once he’s right by them he can’t wait for them to get home and pulls them both into a hug.

Adrien returns it fiercely. Nathalie stiffens.

“I thought you were _gone,”_ He mumbles into her hair, “I thought I’d lost both of you and,”

“It’s alright sir,” Nathalie cuts him off and he remembers Adrien doesn’t know, “ _We’re_ alright.”

“I’m not losing either of you again.”

* * *

He and Nathalie watch Adrien head up to his room.

“I meant it,” he announces.

Nathalie looks wary, and she turns her head to look at him, “Meant what?”

“I don’t want to lose either of you again, _can’t_ lose either of you again. Please, Nathalie, come back to me.”

Nathalie shakes her head, and then she reaches for his cravat as if to adjust it but her fingers press down to feel the Miraculous underneath, “If you’re saying what I think you are, then don’t. Don’t do this to me. Not again.”

Her hand leaves the Miraculous and she’s _right,_ because he has no right to ask that of her when this Miraculous is still on his chest, when _Emilie_ is still lying below them.

And she leaves. Again.

But there’s a hope he can almost grasp because if _that’s_ Nathalie’s objection it does change matters.

* * *

He’s still thrumming with nervous energy long after she leaves and Adrien goes to bed, and he doesn’t feel like any of his usual coping mechanisms will sate it.

What he wants to do is _run,_ run like he could run away from all his problems, and that’s not a possibility.

Not for Gabriel Agreste.

For _Hawk Moth_ now that’s different.

The chances of coming into contact with Ladybug or Chat Noir seem infinitely low and he almost doesn’t care as opens the rose window from the lair.

* * *

He comes to a stop on the roof of a building opposite Nathalie’s and he’s made a _mistake_ because Chat Noir is sat down on it.

The boy looks around, “Oh, you again?”

He’s oddly not aggressive.

“I’m not looking for a fight,” he says.

“Me neither.” Says Chat Noir. “Did you get your person back?”

Gabriel wonders absently who drilled manners into the hero that he’d ask his enemy that.

“I did.”

Chat Noir hums out acknowledgement then, “Good.”

“Good?” Gabriel asks, and sits down next to Chat Noir rather than looming other him because it feels fair to offer the hero something in return for his proffered kindness, “Even though it’s me?”

“I’ve lost people.” Chat Noir says quietly. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Even you.”

He asks. “Who have you lost?”

Chat Noir doesn’t turn to look at him. “I don’t think Ladybug would like me telling you that. Secret identities and all you know.”

“I’ve lost my wife.” Gabriel admits, and the sentence hurts but it feels right. “Not today. Before.”

This time Chat Noir does look at him. “It was my mother for me.”

Gabriel shuts his eyes and exhales. What a parallel. Perhaps if things had fallen out differently it might be Chat Noir’s father terrorizing the city, and his son fighting Paris’ most hated man.

“I’m sorry. That must be hard.”

Chat Noir’s legs swing in the air in front of him, and some parenting habit makes Gabriel want to tell him to stop, but he squashes it down.

“It is. But I could deal with it I think, you know tragedies happen right? But my father, _he_ can’t seem to deal with it, and I don’t know how to help him, and sometimes I think I’ve lost him too. Sometimes I feels like she took his ability to care with him.”

“I’m sure he cares about you,” Gabriel says awkwardly, he can’t even comfort _Adrien,_ there’s no way he can comfort Chat Noir, “It can just be difficult to show that sometimes. My wife was a very expressive person, and I’m _not,_ and I don’t know how to be there for my son when she was always the one there for him.”

Chat Noir’s eyes narrow, “You have a _son?_ ”

“Yes.” There’s no point pretending otherwise and it’s not like that’s enough to identify him.

“Then how can you do _this?_ Shouldn’t you be spending time _with him?_ Instead of scheming for world domination or whatever it is you want? Does he even _know?_ Do you warn him about attacks or is he in danger like everyone else in Paris?”

“I,” his thoughts stumble, “you’re _right._ I have put him in too much danger.”

“ _He_ was who you lost today.”

“Yes.” One of them anyway.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that. What could be worth that?”

In for a cent, in for a euro, “His mother.”

“What?”

“His mother. I wanted to bring her back.”

“ _That’s_ what all this is about? You wanted to save your wife?”

“It always has been.”

Chat Noir laughs, “And I thought _my_ father’s denial was bad.”

“My son needs her. I thought I needed her.”

“And what do you think she’d think of today?”

“Oh she’d eviscerate me for it. She used to have quite the temper.”

“Do you know?” Chat Noir shifts so he’s fully facing him, “I think maybe your son doesn’t need her either. _My_ mom was always the parent I was closer to too, and I don’t need him miraculously brought back to me. I need my _father._ ”

Gabriel feels guilty. “Do you not have anyone else?”

Of course it’s not the same. Adrien has his schoolfriends, that’s half the reason he lets him go to school to distract him from the emptiness in the house, and he has his bodyguard, and Nathalie. Sort of.

Chat Noir shrugs, “I have friends. And uh, sort of family friends I guess. Kind of almost had a stepmom at one point, but I think that’s not happening now.”

“I thought you said your father was torn up over your mother.” That doesn’t exactly make sense in the scenario Chat Noir’s implying. He might have fallen for Nathalie but it’s not like the two of them ever had a romantic relationship past that one kiss.

“It’s complicated,” Chat Noir looks chagrined, “and I don’t know the _half_ of it.”

They both look back across the street unsure where to continue this conversation from here. Nathalie’s curtains are shut, but he faintly sees a silhouette cross in front of them.

“You said _thought_ you needed her earlier,” Chat Noir says. It’s not quite a question.

“I did,” he sighs, “I’m starting to think I’ve been making a mistake.”

“After you killed your son? You know lots of other people’s sons have been caught up in attacks before today.”

His blunt words hit better than a punch.

“So’s mine. But nothing so visceral as today.” He fiddles with his cane, “I promised her to bring her back you know, and even now, _doesn’t_ she deserve to live? She was an amazing person you know. Really amazing.”

“Does she deserve that more than the rest of Paris deserve to live their lives without being in fear of you?”

And that’s it. Because Emilie _does_ deserve to live.

But so do other people too.

Other people Gabriel cares about.

Other people Gabriel _doesn’t_ care about. But whom people he does care about might care about.

And he’s lost Nathalie to this. This conversation has made him aware how he’s losing _Adrien_ to this.

And he hadn’t been lying earlier. He _can’t_ lose them both again.

His hand goes to this throat, “if I give you this Miraculous will you shut your eyes until I leave?”

Chat Noir holds out his hand and then pulls it back and looks around, “I can’t see how this is a trick, but if you grab me and try and take my Miraculous while my eyes are shut I _will_ have to cataclysm you.”

“I won’t.” He promises.

The boy looks uncertain but he doesn’t and Gabriel feels oddly satisfied to be able to justify _someone’s_ trust in him as he hands him his Miraculous.

And then looks around for a place to leave from, oh. The roof.

Chat Noir realises the same thing a second later, “Uh, do you have a way down.”

“Apparently not.”

The hero starts at his voice and Gabriel bemoans his public profile, and can only hope Chat Noir hasn’t actually recognised him.

“I could carry you?”

He tries to deepen his voice as he does as Hawk Moth. “With your eyes shut?”

“Maybe if I gave you a piggy back?”

Gabriel pinches the bridge of his nose in irriation, “Could you give me that back and we can both get off this roof and I’ll give it to you on the ground?”

“That’s probably easiest yeah.”

* * *

It’s not the end to Hawk Moth Gabriel envisaged.

But it is _an_ end.

And maybe it can be a beginning too.


	7. Chapter 7

Nathalie watches, more bored than concerned, as Jennifer accuses Vincent of having been sleeping with her the whole time the two of them had been carefully trying to sort themselves out long-distance.

Some of it is supposed to be aimed at her but if Jennifer thinks Nathalie’s bothered by her attempts at accusations that makes her laugh because the other women has absolutely _nothing_ on Audrey Bourgeois.

Getting yelled like this at is almost nostalgic really, except that makes her think of Gabriel and she’s doing her absolute best _not_ to think about Gabriel these days.

And especially of how he’d ask her to come back to him.

She tried to focus back on the argument. She should really pay more attention so she could contribute if need be but she’s developed a bad habit of needing zoning out at this sort of the thing at work.

Then the doorbell went startling them all.

The other two were closer to the door than Nathalie was and Vincent leapt at the offered reprieve and opened it to reveal. Gabriel. As if she’d somehow summoned him by thinking of him.

Except she’d never have dared, even in her daydreams, to imagine Gabriel at the door of her apartment, with roses, and some sort of small box in hand.

He blinked at the scene in front of him.

“I was looking for,”

“Nathalie.” Vincent says, “I figured.”

Jennifer was just staring at Gabriel and she figured that at least _one_ good thing was going to come out of this no matter how downhill it went from here.

“Wait,” Jennifer says, “Are you _her_ boyfriend?”

Gabriel looks frozen at the question, and years of practise makes Nathalie jump in, “I don’t think we’ve labelled our relationship yet.”

“Oh,” she flushes looking slightly embarrassed.

Nathalie ignores her and addresses Gabriel, “Come in, I think these two were just leaving?”

Jennifer looks confused. “Uh, _were_ we?”

Nathalie tries to mimic her looking innocent, “I believed that was the plan wasn’t it? Weren’t you and Vincent going out to lunch?”

Over Jennifer’s head Vincent’s giving her _deeply_ betrayed eyes, but the apartment _was_ hers so she had the right to claim in it this situation and he _knew_ it, and moreover really she was doing the two of them a favour by forcing their conversation out in public where any arguments were at least likely to be somewhat less loud if not completely more polite.

She tried to express this to him with her eyes, and either she succeeded or he just gave in because he says, “That was my plan. I hoped things would go better, but I _did_ promise Nathalie the apartment.”

Jennifer looks between Gabriel and Nathalie and gives in, “OK, look, we can go to lunch but you’re paying.”

“I was planning to.”

Nathalie silently promises herself to refund Vincent later. Or to get Gabriel to anyway.

The man in question takes a step back to let the other two pass, and as Vincent does to he whispers something to him that Nathalie can’t quite catch but she’d almost swear the last she heard him say “thank me”.

Then they’re gone, and Gabriel closes the door of the apartment and they’re left alone.

He raises an eyebrow, “We haven’t labelled our relationship?”

She shrugs, “It’s not a lie. I don’t know what we are now I don’t work for you.”

“Friends? Or so I’d like to think.”

That causes an awkward unwanted thrill at the reminder of how their last conversation using those words had gone over.

She shakes it off, and nods towards the flowers and the small rectangular box asking instead, “What’s all this in aid of then?”

“Ah,” he says, “Well, _this,”_ he holds out the box, “is your birthday present.”

That _does_ make sense in terms of explaining it, even the lack of wrapping paper given that generally _she’s_ the one to do all Gabriel’s wrapping except, “It’s not my birthday yet.”

“No.”

She waits for him to expand, “I thought you might not accept it _after_ this conversation so I thought I’d give it to you now. I saw it a while ago and thought of you.”

Confused she holds out her hands to take the flowers, and walks over to find the vase she has for whenever she receives any, sadly mostly because of work.

“I don’t know why you’d think I’d refuse a nice pen,” she says as she roots in the cupboard for it, in fact there’d been a _lovely_ red limited edition Mont Blanc she’d been eyeing before everything happened but without her prompting him goodness know _what_ on Gabriel might have chosen.

“It’s not a pen.”

“What?” She pauses with the flowers half into the vase. The black box is too small to have a notebook, or any the other office related accoutrements she tends to get from him, “What is it?” 

“Perhaps you should open it.”

Now that’s _really_ confusing. She deposits the flowers in the vase and turns the tap on to add some water before going back over to him and taking the black box from him.

She opens it to find a necklace with a silver-coloured chain, though she has suspicions it might be white gold actually, with a fan shaped pendant hanging from at an angle with the chain attached where she’d usually hold it, and from one of the corners.

It feels, “A little on the nose isn’t it?”

“The colours seemed more Nathalie than Mayura.”

That’s true with the single red stone at the base of the fan, followed by a bunch of white crystals then some sort of shiny black mineral.

Still.

In the absence of any response he seems to, quite uncharacteristically feel the need to fill the silence.

“That’s a ruby, and diamonds and hematite, and it’s white gold- I know silver sets you off when you wear it too long.”

“I don’t understand,” she says staring at it still feeling dislocated from reality, “What _is_ this?”

“A necklace?”

She glares at him, he _knows_ full well that’s not what she was asking, _and_ that “It’s not the sort of thing you should be buying your _assistant._ ”

“You’re not my assistant.”

Nathalie tries not to be hurt by the reminder. She’d done the right thing. She knows that, but it’s still odd imaging someone else in her place.

“Because that makes it so much better?”

He ignores her point “Do you not like it?”

She _does,_ and that’s unfair. It’s unfair of Gabriel to do all of this; to come to her with flowers and jewellery like some parody of a romantic hero when she’s made it quite clear she’s not happy to continue anything with him in the circumstances. Bad enough to have become dependent on the Agrestes in lieu of her own family. She’s _not_ being the ruin of his marriage.

“That’s not the point.” She demurs.

“I don’t think you understand how much I owe you. This seems like very little.”

Despite herself she lifts it out of the box, “What did you come to say? Why did you need to give it to me first?”

“Are you accepting it?”

“I don’t know.”

He sighs, “I gave up the Butterfly Miraculous.”

Her brain feels like it’s just gone offline, “I’m sorry, did you just say you gave up your Miraculous?”

There had been an odd lack of akuma attacks that she hadn’t known how to deal with and yet, _Gabriel_ somehow _willingly_ giving up his Miraculous without being exposed, was, that was something impossible to imagine.

“Yes.”

“But,” it feels like the foundations of her world are falling away, “What about Emilie?”

“I’m trying to work out a way to give her a funeral without raising suspicion. That’s part of why I came to see you know. I didn’t want to blindside you with that. And I didn’t want _that_ to be the first place I saw you in months.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I couldn’t justify it any longer. Not after the last time.”

“Oh god,” she feels like the most wretched creature in the universe, “please tell me you didn’t do this for me.”

“I did.”

She might throw up.

“And for Adrien,” he continues, and yes, her fear of what had happened to Adrien, what _could_ have happened to Adrien had Ladybug not won does haunt her too she can hardly reprimand Gabriel to that, “And for me.”

“For you?”

“And for everyone else. Do you know I never really cared about what my akumas did to people? I’d made a promise to Emilie and was willing to do anything and if anyone else wasn’t willing to do the same to protect their loved ones then that was on _them._ But that last time. It was you, and it _was_ Adrien, but it was also that I’d never really experienced what being at the other side of Hawk Moth was like. Even when I was akumatised. Even when I was targeted by my own creation. Those were both plans. This wasn’t. And I didn’t like it.”

“Gabriel,” every thread of common sense she still has is screaming out to her to stop but she can’t help but reach up to embrace him.

He reciprocates with unusual force as if he thinks she might break away. As if she has the _sense_ to break away. Leaving him before was hard enough.

She speaks into his shoulder, “I’m still here, _Adrien’s_ still here.”

His voice rumbles against her, “You _died._ ”

She involuntarily sucks in air, “I don’t like to think about it. Death, whatever comes after death. _That_ I don’t remember. I guess it’s like how you don’t remember those final moments before going to sleep, but before, I remember _that_.”

She’s developed a nervous habit of jigging her leg that she never had before as if she’s trying to remind herself she can feel it.

“Oh my poor Nathalie,” his grip on her tightens, “then you understand why I had to give it up? Emilie deserves life but I couldn’t justify the cost any longer.”

“Are you sure?”

“I have to be.” There’s a pause, then he speaks more certainly, “No. That’s _not_ right. Because I am. I still have the Peacock Miraculous. I could still continue. I just don’t want to.”

“How do you still have the Peacock?”

“I didn’t exactly think through giving the Butterfly up.”

“Somehow I’m not surprised.” Despite building a business she wasn’t sure she’d exactly ever praise Gabriel’s _planning_ skills, “Do I want to know the details?”

“I ran into Chat Noir. After.”

She can feel herself frowning, “You went out as Hawk Moth?”

“I was unsettled.”

“ _And?”_

“We spoke. And I gave him my Miraculous.”

“You _spoke?”_ That’s madness, “What do you mean you _spoke?_ What did you even speak about?”

“Losing people. Did you know Chat Noir’s lost his mother?”

Every muscle she has tenses, that almost seems like too many coincidences, “That’s quite the fluke. You don’t think maybe our suspicions about Adrien were right?”

“I don’t know. I never looked into it again, and it didn’t even occur to me when we were talking. He just didn’t seem like Adrien somehow. But since then, I don’t know. There’s a lot that could fit. His father struggled with it too apparently. But it doesn’t all fit.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Chat Noir claimed he’d almost lost his father too. Not to death, but to his grief.”

Nathalie tries to be diplomatic, “Are you sure Adrien _didn’t?”_

“I had the impression Chat Noir would be ecstatic to spend time with his father. Adrien seems, not against the idea, but somewhat I don’t know, on edge when we interact.”

She couldn’t help but wonder _what_ exactly Gabriel had thought up to do with Adrien and if _that_ was the issue but she knew she was deceiving herself because, “doesn’t that make sense if he’s Chat Noir? And he might suspect you?”

“It does,” she wished she was looking at his face properly and not up at his tense jawline as he speaks, “but there were other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Apparently he almost had a stepmother? I didn’t want to dig too deep into how that worked but,”

“Um,” she swallows, “Vincent thinks Adrien had ideas about you and me.”

“He did. That’s not the same though, the two of us aren’t almost married more’s the pity.”

She makes a sound even _she_ isn’t sure what it is, though she’s fairly certain her brain is pure goop at the moment, “I, what, _Adrien_ told _you_ that he _thought there was something between us?_ When? _How?”_

Somehow Gabriel has the temerity to chuckle, “Well he wasn’t wrong was he?”

“I don’t understand. Why would Adrien think that?”

“I’d like to say some of it was wishful thinking but I think that perhaps he just saw things more clearly than I did myself.”

“What?” 

One of his hands leaves her back, and comes to under her chin to tip her head up so she’s staring into his eyes fixed down on her.

And there’s nothing but sincerity in them when he says, “I’m in love with you.”

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

She pulls out of his hold, “Because, _because,_ you’re barely given up on Emilie, she’s not even in her grave yet, and _me,_ why would you love _me?”_

“I think I’ve been widowed a long time and I’ve just been refusing to accept it. And why _not_ you? You’re beautiful, and you’re always been there for me _and_ for my son, and since you haven’t been in my life I’d realised I don’t want a life without you there.”

She’s still too confused to think, but she does say ruefully, “That was kind of the opposite of what I was trying to do by leaving.”

“You don’t have to leave anymore. Not now. Not now everything’s changed.”

“I can’t be her replacement.”

“You wouldn’t be. I loved her and I love you but I hardly think you’re the same. Come back.”

“I don't think I should.” Nathalie can't bear being this close to him because maybe this isn't an issue because of _Emilie_ anymore but it's still the wrong thing to do. She walks away from him and sits on the sofa with her head in her hands, “I think I’m bad for you. Bad for Adrien.”

“Nathalie?” Gabriel sounds lost, “I don't understand. Adrien wants you back as much as I do. You know that.”

“I don't think it’s _quite_ as much as you do.” She points out.

“You’re probably right,” he allows and sits down by her. “Do you know I've been quite jealous of him getting to see you?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

She glances sideways and he's frowning down at her. As she watches he brushes some of her hair away from where it's shielding her face and she has to look away from him. She can still feel the movement of as it brushes her ear and it seems he's yet to relinquish it.

He might never have seen it down before she realises.

“Why doesn’t it matter?”

She exhales, and she knows he’ll disagree but, “I don't deserve it.”

Whatever he's doing with her hair stops, “I think most people would say it was the other way round. I’m the one who's been preying on your goodwill.”

“No. I'm the one who let you,” she knows she needs to say to his face, so she sits up, pulling her hair out of his hand where it seems like he’s been coiling it round his fingers in the process. She wonders if he’d known he was doing it or if it was a reflex action; not that it matters, because “since I’ve not been working for you’ve only been sending Akumas outside work hours.”

“I couldn't have trusted my assistant the way I did you.”

“Exactly.” That’s her _point._ “If _you’ve_ just realised the cost of Hawk Moth was too high then _I’m_ the one who let you do that. Without me you couldn't have found those Miraculous, couldn’t have _been_ Hawk Moth, we’re bad for each other.”

“By that metric it’s Emilie’s fault too. And her death is mine. We’ve made mistakes but we’re more than that. We can be good for each other. I certainly haven’t been alone.”

“Haven’t you? Aren't you eating with Adrien now? And bothering yourself with things you always shoved off on me before? He cares for me, _deeply_ I think, and I've done nothing to deserve it because I've just made his life worse.”

It makes her feel awful every time she sees Adrien.

Gabriel doesn’t seem to understand the severity of it, “So help make me it better. Help me be better.”

She meets his eyes, “And you’ll listen to me?”

“Of course.”

She shakes her head, because of course he hasn’t clarified the important thing. “Gabriel, in what capacity exactly are you asking me to come back?

“What?”

“Are you asking to be your assistant again?”

“No.” He shakes his head, “The new one’s no you, but she’s learning.”

“Then?”

He shuts his eyes for a second, “Nathalie, don’t make me say it. Not unless you feel the same.”

He’s told her loves her. This shouldn’t be anything more and yet she has to push it to search through how earnest he truly is about all of this, “And if I don’t?”

“Then I want you as my friend. I know you see Adrien but that’s not the same. _I_ want to see you.”

“And if I do?”

“Do you?”

She hesitates. He’s given up Hawk Moth. Regardless of how much she may or may not have had to do with that decision whatever she does now isn’t going to change it.

And he says he loves her.

Not just attraction, or petty jealously, or convenience. _Love._

He’s even ready to love her if she refuses it. To take her friendship if that’s all she’ll offer him.

It’s enough to make her admit, “I’d have thought that was obvious.”

He flinches at that.

“So?” She prompts, “What do you actually want from me then?”

“I understand it has to up to you. But I’ll take whatever you’ll give me Nathalie Sancoeur.”

“What are we talking about long term then?” At his confused glance she explains, “I think if we’re going to start something then we should be on the same page. We’re little old to just jump into something, and we’re too caught up in each other’s lives for misunderstandings. So in your ideal scenario how does this end?”

“In my ideal scenario?”

“Yes.”

He leans forward and cups her face in one of his hands, and she lets him.

“Then in the long term I’d want you to be my wife.”

Nathalie Agreste. It should seem wrong. _Her_ as Mrs Agreste when that’s _Emilie._ And yet, somehow it doesn’t. She wants it yes, but she’s wanted _him_ for longer and that’s always been easy to repress, whereas _this,_ if Adrien approves and he’s independently given up Hawk Moth then she doesn’t have a reason to refuse.

She tries to relax her racing heart beat before responding. “Alright.”

“Alright?”

“That wasn’t me agreeing to marry you, you’re going to have to get down on one knee for me to say yes to that but, ok. We can give it a go. You and me.”

He smiles, _actually_ smiles, not a smirk or a villainous cackle for the first time in years, “So can I kiss you and you won’t run off this time?”

“You _know_ that was badly done last time.” She can’t help but take amusement at the look on his face, “But I think we can do better than that this time.”

Gabriel looks confused so she closes the gap between them and reaches up to kiss him.

* * *

Nathalie is very distracted, when Gabriel stops kissing her and suddenly says, “When’s your flatmate due back?”

“Why would I know?” She sluggishly tries to concentrate on things that _aren’t_ her and Gabriel, “I don’t even know what time it is.”

He’d given her the presents, and then they’d talked, and then they’d confessed, and she’d kissed him and he returned it and at some point they’d ended up more horizontal, but it’s anyone’s guess for long that had taken them.

He shifts underneath her, “Because much as I like the idea of laying claim to you,”

“Yes, I could tell,” she said feeling the purpling bruise on her neck he’d left.

“Hmm, still I’m not sure I want your roommate and his girlfriend walking in on us, and I find myself quite against the idea of relinquishing you right now.”

“That’s a good point,” and she does try but, “I don’t have a better idea though.”

“Easy. You come home.”

“I can’t just move back in,” she says ignoring the little bit of satisfaction glowing in her at the implication of it being _her_ home as well as his, “and anyway I don’t want _Adrien_ walking in on us like this.”

She might be fully dressed but that doesn’t mean her dignity wouldn’t still be shattered.

“Ah, but I have doors that lock. _And_ Adrien’s out today.”

“Adrien? Is? Out?”

“You don’t have to be so shocked.”

She just looks at him.

Gabriel gives in. “Apparently he’s extra fencing training because there’s a big competition coming up. It’s not like I don’t let him go to those.”

“No, I suppose that’s true.”

“Anyway I didn’t want to him to know about things if today went south.”

“No, that’s probably a good idea,” She props herself up on her elbows to better look at him, “How long do we keep this quiet before we tell him?”

“That’s seems like it might be difficult.”

“We kept Hawk Moth from him,” she points out.

He looks troubled, “I _hope_ we did.”

“Gabriel?”

“Sometimes I wonder if Chat Noir has the same questions about his father I do about my son.”

“Oh. Possibly we _shouldn’t_ try to give back the Peacock Miraculous immediately on us getting together then?”

“Possibly not. Though I’m glad I have you at my side to help me work out how to do that.”

She smirks. “Oh I see you Mr Agreste, you just want me for my logistical skills.”

“No, I want you for your everything, including your logistical skills.”

Now she’s the one smiling.

“You should do that more often.”

“Maybe you should make me.”

They fall into a comfortable silence as she snuggles in against him and he strokes her back.

Suddenly she remembers, “What did Vincent tell you to thank him for anyway?”

“Of all the possibilities it was your hair.”

“My _hair?”_

“Apparently you were going to chop it all off?”

“It's normal to change your hair after a breakup.” Gabriel does _not_ need to know she’d had the scissors in hand herself before she was convinced out of it, “I tried curling it but that went badly, so getting rid of it seemed like the way to go for the New Nathalie.”

Hair tutorials are either complete lies or they're all written by someone with _very_ different hair to her. Every single one of them.

He doesn’t comment on her use of the word break-up instead he sounds somewhat horrified, “All of it?”

“Not _all_ of it.”

His finger brushes down her jawline, and he looks at her consideringly, “It might have been cute. But I’m glad I got to see it down first.”

“I'm getting that impression yes,” she says as his other hand starts playing with her hair again.

“It's nice.” He says, “Was that when you got rid of the red?”

“It was, but _that_ was me being sensible,” not that the red _hadn’t_ felt too connected to Gabriel and her time with him but, “I needed a new job, and I wanted one outside the industry and bright colours aren’t exactly the thing in the corporate world.”

“You don’t _have_ to get a new job.”

“I have one and its fine. I’d be bored doing nothing lounging around on your largesse.”

He pouts, “You wouldn’t be doing nothing. You’d be with me.”

“And you’d be working most of the day.”

“I could retire.”

“Then _you’d_ be bored.”

“We could do other things.”

“You did seem very fixated on giving me a family yes,”

“Nathalie,” he blush strains across his checkbones.

“It’s fine,” she gives him a quite peck on the lips, “we can talk about that later. Anyway, you’re already giving me one son aren’t you?”

He looks somewhat chagrined, “I think Adrien might try to set up a time for us at the town hall the moment he discovers we’re together. Not that I’d be complaining mind you.”

* * *

Nathalie smiles down at her phone at the text Gabriel’s sent her about his latest work misadventure, and looks back up, “Sorry Adrien. You were saying?”

“Uh, right so, um.” He looks unsure, “Can I ask you something?”

Somehow she has a feeling this isn’t about his maths homework, but she doesn’t feel particularly able to refuse him at the moment, doesn’t _want_ to, either, “You can.”

“You seem happier now.” 

It’s not really a question, but she answers it anyway, “I am.”

“Are you seeing someone?”

She freezes. Gabriel is more willing to tell Adrien than she is, but she wants more things sorted out before they admit things to Adrien.

Still. Omitting things is one thing and outright lying is another and she doesn’t have the latter in her any longer. Not after what her lies before could have led to, “Yes, but it’s still early days yet. I was going to tell you once we were ready.”

“And,” Adrien looks surprisingly like Gabriel as he tries to get the next words out, “he’s good to you?”

“He is.”

“OK.”

“Are you still staying for dinner with me and father tonight?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It doesn’t bother him?”

Nathalie has to force her smirk down this time, “Not at all.” 

Adrien still looks worried, and she reaches out to take his hand, “Adrien whatever happens you’re always going to be important to me. I want you to know that.”

“Alright,” She glances at her watch, “I should probably go remind your father that it’s time for dinner soon. You know how he is.”

“Yeah,” Adrien keeps his face _just_ the right side of respectful, “I know.”

* * *

She opens the Atelier door. Gabriel’s assistant is long gone home so she has no qualms in walking over to Gabriel and putting an arm round his waist, “Your son asked me if I was seeing anybody today.”

“Did he? What did you say?”

“I admitted it.” He stiffens against her, “though not who.”

“Have you changed your mind about that?”

“I’ve been giving thought to your other proposition, but I can hardly move in with you two without admitting things to Adrien can I?”

“You’re ready for that?”

“Maybe you should convince me why I want to again.”

He smiles indulgently down at her, and she thinks he’s about to kiss her when there’s a gasp from the Atelier door.

“Adrien,” she says hurriedly looking back around, “You didn’t need to come down yet.”

“You’re dating _father?”_

“Yes,” the man in question says, and Nathalie winces a little at the bluntness of it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Adrien asks looking hurt. 

“We wanted to get things on a firmer footing before we did,” Nathalie explains, “I didn’t want to make things awkward for you.”

“I’m not sure this is less awkward.”

“Possibly not.” But then, “this wasn’t exactly our plan for telling you.” 

“Yeah. I guessed that,” Adrien looks between them, “but if I you’re both happy then I’m happy. Are you going to move back in again?”

Gabriel looks down at her, “Are you?”

“Yes,” she decides right at that moment, “yes I think I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Gabriel's totally normal present for his emotional support assistant.](https://garrard.com/collections/fanfare-symphony/necklaces-and-pendants/fanfare-symphony-pendant-5/)


End file.
